I was just at the park, walking around the lake with Pinky (my little chihuahua), when I noticed a guy sleeping on one of the benches, resting only on his backpack, which was odd, since almost all homeless people have more belongings, but I didn’t bother him on the first lap because I was jamming to my music and wanted to respect him. The second lap, he had not moved, so I decided to check to see if he was ok. I carefully approached him, saw his face looking beat up, then gently touched his shoulder to see if he was awake, or if he needed help. His eyes popped open, well the one that was not swollen did anyway, and I asked if he needed help. He slowly sat up, not knowing where he was or how he had arrived here, then said he actually did need help, since he had nothing except his backpack, which wouldn’t help him survive at all. I told him my car was nearby, and I could help him if he wanted to come home with me, where there was food and water, which he agreed to, so I took his backpack and let him put his arm across my shoulders as we slowly walked to my car.

Once he was sitting in the passenger seat, I gave him a water bottle, which he quickly drank and thanked me for, then asked if I was sure I could help him- he didn’t want to cause me any trouble. It was clear to me that he was not a homeless person, just someone who ended up in a bad situation, so I was happy to help. We drove carefully, since he seemed to be in lots of pain, but since I normally drive like an old lady anyway, it wasn’t that much different. He was mostly silent on the way home, wincing in pain every now and then, which made me super worried, but I knew I needed to focus and do my best to help him. When we got home, I got Pinky out, then went to help him, grabbing his backpack again and giving him my shoulders to lean on. He was slower this time, poor guy, so we walked slowly and finally made it to my door. Once inside, I helped get his shoes off, then led him to the kitchen table, where he sat in a chair, sighing like he had walked a hundred miles.

I asked if he had ID, or any idea who he was, so he nodded and replied, “I know my name is Yoongi and I am from Korea, but that’s all- I have no idea how I got here or where any of my stuff is.” I asked if he had anything in his backpack, but there was nothing except one extra outfit, no passport, phone, wallet, nothing to help him. I knew that didn’t matter right then anyway, so I suggested maybe he wanted to take a shower, while I cooked some food, since he clearly needed both, which he was thankful for, but worried because he didn’t want to take advantage of my kindness. I assured him he wasn’t, that I was happy to help, since kindness goes around, and if I share it with him, one day someone will share some with me.

I helped him down the hall, then showed him how to use the shower, told him to use any of my soaps he wanted, set out a fresh towel, then said I would bring his extra clothes and put them on the counter for him. He asked if I could help him take off his shirt, which was ripped and stuck to his back in some places, so I did, as gently as I could, only to see multiple scratches, some quite bloody, and knew now why he had been in so much pain. I asked if he remembered how he had gotten so injured, but he didn’t know, so I said after he was clean, I could help him take care of his injuries while he ate, which he thanked me for. I got his extra clothes, took the damaged ones away, then closed the door and gave him privacy. I went out to the kitchen and started making random stuff, figuring he would be super hungry and wouldn’t care what he ate, just as long as it was fresh and delicious. I also started a pickup order for new clothes, using his damaged ones as size guides, for new t-shirts, shorts, pants, and undies. I also chose some extra random shower supplies, deodorant, etc. knowing he wouldn’t have any of them.

He was in the bathroom for about half an hour, poor guy was probably super slow because of how painful his back was, then he slowly walked out, just in his shorts, no shirt on, asking if I could help his back. He blinked, stared at the table, then looked at me, back to the table, and opened his mouth, but no words came out. I smiled confidently, knowing that one of my hidden talents is feeding others in need, so I began describing each food item I had made, making sure he knew they were all available to him, even if he just wanted to try them. “I made you a hamburger, pesto mozzarella sandwich, tomato sauce pasta, garlic bread, a miso dressing salad, mandarin oranges, some grapes, and cut up an apple. I have strawberry milk, water, and peach iced tea in the cups for you as well. I hope you find something you like.” He just stood still, unable to speak, overwhelmed by the options, until I pulled the chair out, motioning for him to sit on it, then had him sit with the chair back in front of him, so I could access his entire back and assess the damage.

I got some antibacterial ointment, the first aid kit, and Vaseline, plus big gauze pads and medical tape and set to work. He never complained, just occasionally sucked in his breath when I had to touch a raw area, but within fifteen minutes I had cleaned all his wounds and covered the two biggest ones, knowing they would heal better and leave less visible scars if covered and protected. He said he didn’t want to wear his shirt anymore, since the fabric would bother him too much, which I understood, then sat down to join him. He ate some of everything, sharing with me, which is what I’m used to, so it seemed natural for both of us to have a meal together, me attempting to make him smile, him being unsure of how to react to me still. When he was full, I told him he should go sleep in my bed, on his stomach, so he could rest peacefully while I cleaned up the kitchen and did some laundry. He stood up, so I did as well, noticing how tall he really was, but was shocked when he wrapped me in a giant hug and said thank you. I kept my arms at my sides, not wanting to hurt his back, then he let go and looked into my eyes as he said, “I will find a way to pay you back for all of your kindness, I promise. I cannot believe someone actually went through all this trouble just for me, when we just met.”

I assured him that it didn’t matter to me- I was helping him because it was the right thing to do, not because I expected anything in return.

I walked with him down the hall, helped him carefully lie down on his stomach on the bed, then held his hand when he reached for it. He squeezed mine, then asked if it was ok for him to sleep as long as he wanted, which of course I said yes to, then he smiled and thanked me for taking such good care of him. I felt his hand go limp once he fell asleep, he had insisted on holding my hand until then, so I gently tucked it next to his side and went back out to the kitchen. I cleaned up, ran the dishwasher, then placed the pickup order, knowing he would need more clothes very soon- his damaged ones had to be thrown out- they were filthy and ripped. I had also ordered a pair of flip flops in his size because his tennis shoes had holes in them, but I didn’t throw them away yet- I was still searching for the exact replicas to replace them with but was having trouble finding anything similar online.

Anyway, after about an hour, the order was ready, so I loaded Pinky in the car and off we went. It wasn’t that expensive, so I was happy to give him something to wear that might help him feel more comfortable in a strange place, with a strange person caring for him. I also stopped by HMart and asked several employees what someone from Korea might want to eat if they were feeling homesick. I got lots of new food items, plus a few recipes from the older ladies I spoke with and was excited to try them out later. I brought everything inside and began washing the clothes, wanting them to be ready when he woke up. I also put the new food items away and wrote the recipes onto paper, since my phone was too small and often shut off right in the middle of reading something.

After several hours, I figured he was asleep for good and it would be ok for me to shower, since I didn’t want to go to sleep all sweaty, so I was in the shower, overthinking about things as usual, when I was quite shocked to hear his voice ask if he could use the bathroom. I laughed, not even realizing that he didn’t know there was another bathroom in the hallway he could have if he wanted privacy, but I guess it didn’t matter because soon I heard him complaining about a stomachache and then saying he was happy he had finally been able to poop. I covered my mouth to stop myself from bursting out laughing, as I’m covered in soap, soaking wet, with a giant strange man pooping literally one foot away, apparently not caring that he just met me and wanting to share his body issues with me. I congratulated him and when he was done, I instinctively reminded him to wipe, flush, and wash his hands with soap, which made him laugh and I loved the sound. He said he liked how I smelled in the shower, but I reminded him he had smelled the same way earlier, which also made him laugh, so then I said he needed to leave for just a few minutes so I could step out to dry off.

He immediately apologized and left, closing the door behind him, which made me rush to hop out and dry, figuring he would be back sooner than planned, and I’m so glad I did because within two minutes he was knocking on the door and asking if he could enter. I was already dressed, my hair still up in a towel, so I said yes, then when he came in, he just stood next to me, watching, not saying anything, as I continued getting ready. I used my facial toner, then my lotion, then I unwrapped my hair and it fell down in wild waves/curls, which his eyes got wide for, then he reached out to touch my hair, still not saying anything. I laughed, then handed him the hairbrush, asking if he wanted to brush my hair, since it clearly fascinated him. He looked at the brush like it was a foreign object, but accepted it, then just stood there, unsure of how to proceed.

I took his hand, raised it to my hair, and showed him how to brush, not too soft, but not too hard, just normal brushing. He continued to brush, stopping to smell my hair every few seconds, which I ignored, trying not to make a big deal of things anymore, until my hair was all smooth and calm. Then he watched be braid it, to keep it out of my face, which also fascinated him, and he couldn’t stop playing with it when I was done. I said we could go to the kitchen after that, so I could feed him again, plus I needed to check his back, which made him smile and he happily took my hand to lead me down the hallway. When we reached the table, he saw the clothes I had bought, washed, and folded for him, neatly sitting in a basket, ready for his use. He dropped my hand, began touching all the items, and asked if they were for him. I told him yes, of course, I wanted to make sure he was comfortable while he was with me and since he had no more clothes, I had gotten him some. He was speechless once more, just admiring the clothes, then staring at me, then back at the clothes, until he wrapped me in another big hug and said, “Thank you so much. I don’t know what I have done to deserve your kindness, but I will definitely pay you back one day for how you have spoiled me.”

I said it didn’t matter, I would have done it for anyone in need, but he made it clear that he understood how special I was; to even think of him in such a way and he liked it. Once he let go, I asked if he was hungry, moving the basket to the floor and when he said yes, I showed him some of the Korean items I had gotten, then said I had some in the fridge if he needed more options. He was too stunned to speak, so I explained how I had asked some employees at the Asian market for suggestions to make him feel more at home. He actually got teary-eyed and said, “How can such a woman as yourself actually exist in human form? You are the most selfless and caring female I have ever met in my life.” I blushed, but promised I was just trying to help him, since he was not able to help himself at the moment, but he still came over to me, hugged me again, and kissed the top of my head, whispering something in Korean I assumed meant he was thankful for everything I had done.

He showed me what to heat up and what to eat cold, then modeled how to eat the things for me, so I could try them, and we had so much fun, he was actually laughing by the time he was full. I was so thankful for his happiness I didn’t see his looks and how they had changed from being grateful to being affectionate, full of admiration. Once I had put the food away, he said he was tired again, so I told him to go lie down on my bed, so I could check his back and make sure they were clean still. He obeyed at once, then let me redo some of the coverings and said it hurt less this time, which I was thankful for. After I finished, he sat up, then said he wanted to brush his teeth, so I showed him his new toothbrush, which caused him to be speechless once more. I sighed, not knowing how many more things would cause him to lose his words, but also knowing he was overwhelmed still, with a new person to rely on, and a new place to get used to.

He sensed my worries and asked me about my sigh, so I explained how I was worried about him being overwhelmed and not knowing how much I just wanted him to be safe and relaxed. He gently hugged me from behind, his arms wrapped around my stomach, his chin resting on my shoulder, then said, “I might not have the right words all the time, but I can absolutely feel the love and safety you are radiating right now. There is nobody else I would trust with my life and nobody else who would take such good care of me. Please believe me when I say I am overwhelmed by your beauty, kindness, gentle heart, and caring spirit. I am falling for you the more time I spend here and one day I will show you my affection with more than just speechless moments, if you can be patient and allow me to heal and build my confidence back up.” I blushed instantly, which he chuckled at, then kissed each of my cheeks gently, causing me to tell him it was not really love, but probably the “Nightingale Syndrome” where the patient falls in love with their caregiver, but not because it’s true love- only because they are caring for them and showing so much compassion.

He strongly disagreed and said he was going to prove his affection was genuine and not short term, but I argued, saying it wasn’t possible, so he challenged me to give him a week. If he could prove his love was real, I had to give him a chance and love him back, which I figured was impossible, so I took his deal and asked what I could do to stop him from loving me anymore. He laughed and said if I was trying to stop someone from loving me, I should not buy them clothes, cook for them, visit a special food store for them, or care for their injuries carefully. This had me speechless this time, which he enjoyed and kissed my forehead in response, then brushed his teeth before bed. I brushed after him, then made sure he was situated on the edge of the bed, lying on his stomach, so his back could heal.

I climbed around him, to the other side, then faced him, when he insisted he be allowed to hold my hand to fall asleep. I did not argue, since I was tired and he was very handsome when he was stubborn, but also did not believe he was actually attracted to me. In the morning, I woke up somehow on the edge of the bed, on my right side, him directly behind me, his arms wrapped so tightly I felt like an octopus was cuddling me, which made me laugh to myself. I guess maybe he was starting to care for me after all… I carefully turned onto my back, so I could see his sleeping face, his eye looking much better, less swollen, but now bruised and his lips looking healthy again, after me forcing Vaseline on him every hour yesterday. As he slept, he looked so peaceful I couldn’t wake him up, so I lifted his arms off me and snuck out- I had to take Pinky outside and walk her.

When I got back, he was still asleep, so I made my morning Chai and enjoyed the peacefulness of the early morning by myself. He woke up about an hour later, then called my name, so I went right in and saw him smiling, sitting up on the edge of the bed, commenting on how amazing his sleep had been with me by his side. He told me how sleep had been such a struggle for so many years he doubted he would ever get rest again, but this morning, he felt recharged, and it was because of me and our cuddle. I smiled and blushed, not sure how to react to such a sweet confession, so when he stood up and wrapped his strong arms around me, I buried my face in his neck, making sure to not touch his back with my arms yet. He whispered something in Korean, which I ignored, but then he put his cheek on mine and said softly, “How can one person affect another so deeply without even a single word?” I didn’t know how to answer, so I stayed silent as he continued to hold me tight and feel my heart beating next to his.

After a few minutes, he sighed and let go, not wanting our closeness to end, but knowing he couldn’t hold me forever. After he used the bathroom, he came to the kitchen and wanted breakfast, which I was cooking for him. After we ate, I asked if he had anyone he could contact to see about getting his phone, wallet, or passport reissued, since he could not travel without any identification. He frowned, worried about who he could trust now, so I asked if there were any friends he absolutely knew would not betray him, then handed him my phone, hoping he knew someone’s number or email, or anything that would help us contact them. He also worried that his friends would not respond because the number would be foreign and since they were famous in their country, a lot of scammers tried to trick them. I didn’t realize his safety was such an issue, so tried to think of another solution, but had none. I suggested that email might be the safest way, since that doesn’t actually involve a phone number right away, and sure, they might ignore it or send it to the trash, but all he needed was for one friend to believe the email and trust that it was him- then we could get him the help he needed.

That was the one thing I could not do- get his Korean documents reprinted or get him a new phone from Korea, which I desperately wished I could help with, since it caused Yoongi a lot of stress and I didn’t like seeing him upset. He agreed that email would be safest, so he drafted an email on my phone and began sending it to the six people he trusted most- his band members and hoped that one of them would think it was real and respond. He gave them my phone number in the email, then kept my phone ringer on, just in case anyone tried to contact him. I felt bad because he was checking the phone every five seconds after he had sent the email, but then I reminded him about time zones and he didn’t look so disappointed- it was the middle of the night in Korea, so no wonder they didn’t respond.

That lifted his spirits a little and he wanted to try to take a small walk outside, saying he needed some fresh air, so I helped him put on one of the loose t-shirts I had found for him, which didn’t rub his back much, then he saw the flip flops I had gotten and looked at me quizzically… I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I know, I know, I should not have gotten you shoes either, but seriously Yoongi, how can I not help you when you have nothing?” He laughed and said he was going to win the deal, no problem, since I was not even trying to stop him from loving me, which I ignored by getting Pinky ready with her leash and locking the door behind us when he had stepped onto the patio. We walked slowly over to the mailboxes, him being able to walk better than the day before, he said it was because of my loving care, but I knew it was because he had actually had someone taking care of him…

He loved being outside, getting fresh air, feeling happy for the first time in a long time, so I let him take my hand and guide me along the pathways until he got tired and needed to return home. Once we were back, I gave him water and helped remove the shirt, nothing had been damaged on his back and he was thankful. He wanted to help me do something, but it wasn’t time for lunch, so I told him the only thing he could do was tell me stories of him and his friends (band members) having fun, hopefully bringing back some more recent memories about how he ended up so far from home. Pretty soon, he was laughing and smiling, retelling me silly events and phrases, while I watched him become animated and halfway act out the scenarios, enjoying this side of him, knowing it was his true self, not the quiet, injured man I had met yesterday.

Soon, two hours had passed, and he was hungry again, which I teased him about, but when he offered to help me in the kitchen, I had a feeling it was a bad idea, and it turns out, I was right. He could not focus on chopping the veggies because his vision still wasn’t back to normal, so I asked him to let me handle the food from now on. He laughed, but agreed, knowing he wasn’t at full power yet. Anyway, he was happily munching on some of the Korean fruits I had gotten, so he kept himself busy while I made the taco ingredients.

Soon, everything was ready, so I put everything on the table and showed him how to make a taco, which fascinated him and after eating two giant tacos, he was rubbing his belly and saying, “You know, if you don’t want anyone to fall in love with you, you really shouldn’t cook them such delicious foods because they say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and I am clearly living proof that it is very true.” I blushed but shrugged my shoulders because we both knew I wouldn’t stop spoiling him, even if it meant losing the deal. He helped me clear the table, then laughed when I kicked him out of the kitchen, so I could put the leftovers away, claiming his help was actually going to cause me more trouble than doing things by myself. I thought he would be sitting down on the couch, but when I came around the corner, he was just standing in the middle of the living room, looking out the open window, so I thought something was wrong and came up beside him, careful not to touch his back, but reached for his hand and looked up at his face as I asked, “Yoongi, are you ok? Can I help with anything?”

He smiled and looked down at me, apparently amused by my assumption that something was wrong, then bent his head down to kiss my hair and replied, “Nothing is wrong, I just appreciate everything you have done and was thinking of a way to show my gratitude. Nothing seems right though, since I have nothing to offer right now.” I stared right back into his handsome face and answered, “Yoongi, you are getting healthier and healing and soon you will be able to travel back to your home. All I want is for you to be back to your full strength by the time that happens, and my efforts will have been worth it. I want your friends and family to know I did my very best to care for you- especially your parents and your band members- so when I face them, I can have their respect and trust. That is my ultimate goal.” He blinked, frozen for a moment, comprehending what I had said, which was more important than I realized. “You want to meet my parents and the other band members?” He asked, completely shocked. I nodded, not seeing what the big deal was- were they not just regular people like him, after all?

He said nobody had ever asked to meet them before- being too intimidated at the prospect, but after caring for Yoongi the way I was, I knew I could earn their respect and trust, so of course it made sense for me to meet them. He rotated himself to be in front of me and wrapped me in another strong hug, whispering things in Korean again, so I finally told him, “Yoongi, I get that sometimes words don’t translate exactly and it is more comfortable for you to speak Korean to yourself, but it’s really not fair to keep talking like that when I am literally inches from your face and have no clue if you are saying something bad or if I’m just annoying you somehow.”

He leaned back and saw my irritated face, then asked, “Wait, you think I’m saying bad things or that you could ever annoy me?” I nodded fiercely, clearly showing how upset I was, which he was surprised about- I guess he hadn’t realized the effect it would have, since he was whispering to himself. He gave me a sideways grin, then said shyly, “Mostly I just whisper things I don’t want you to hear because if I say them in English, I’m pretty sure you would be shocked and also embarrassed, which I do not want. I want you to be comfortable and confident around me, which means sometimes I need to keep my inner thoughts to myself.” I was now spicy and stepped back, put my hands on my hips, and demanded he tell me one thing he had whispered, no matter how terrible it sounded. He got super embarrassed, then looked at the floor and confessed, “I was wishing I could kiss you and wondering if you would kiss me back or be upset that I had tried.”

This shocked me, so I was speechless, just staring at him, unsure of how to respond, which alarmed him, so he looked into my face, saw me thinking hard about how to reply, and cautiously reached for my hands, gently taking them off my hips and holding them in front of himself. “Please don’t be mad- you made me tell you what I was honestly whispering, and this is why I was speaking to myself in Korean. I did not mean to upset you.” I closed my eyes, then opened them again, took a deep breath, and replied, “I appreciate your honesty, but Yoongi, sometimes things happen without a plan, and you just have to know when the right moment is and take advantage of it. I can’t predict how I will react, since we just met yesterday, but I can say for some unknown reason I am becoming more and more attracted to you, so the chances of that happening are greater than none.”

He smiled so wide his whole face lit up and I could tell I had given him maybe too much hope, but it was too late to take it back now, so I just quickly said, “Calm down, Yoongi- I’m not giving you permission to go crazy now- just telling you to wait for the right moment to see if it happens naturally. You cannot force someone to return affection.” He nodded and squeezed my hands to show he understood and respected my answers. He accepted his fate and guided me over to the couch, sitting on the edge, but patting the spot next to him for me to sit. He told me he wanted to know everything about me, but that was impossible and overwhelming for me, so I stared back at him, unsure of how to begin…

He saw the panic in my eyes and changed his approach, “How about I tell you one thing about me, and you match it with something about yourself? Does that seem fair?” I nodded, letting out the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. He began by telling me why he wanted to become a musician in the first place- he loved helping others see the beauty in the world. He was passionate about music and loved exploring new places to see what local artists had created. I also love music, so as the things we had in common grew, his smile got wider and wider, while my worries got smaller and smaller. I was soon laughing and enjoying our conversation so much I forgot to check the phone until it made a loud sound and we both jumped! It was an email from one of the band members, Jin, who we both agreed would have been our first guess, since he was constantly checking on the members anyway. He had read the email and was texting to see if it was legit.

Yoongi’s face was so bright I couldn’t help but feel happy for him, but a little sad for myself, as it meant he wouldn’t be around as long as I was hoping, but I knew his future needed to be the first priority, after his health, so I encouraged him to call Jin, so they could speak freely in Korean and make a plan. Yoongi quickly called the number that had texted, getting Jin and once he realized it was really Yoongi, they were both chatting so fast and loudly I could not even follow along even if I had been fluent. I politely excused myself, figuring this was the perfect time to shower, since Yoongi would clearly be busy for a while and I knew the shower would help me relax a little, since I was now worried about more things than before.

I was happily washing my hair, quietly singing to myself, when I heard Yoongi’s voice getting louder, so I giggled to myself and asked what he needed- Jin was trying to book a flight, but wondered if we could pick him up from the airport, so of course I said yes, just send me the flight info and we could be there. He made sure to get a flight that arrived in the middle of the night, so less fans/stalkers would be around. I finished with my shower and got dressed, then left my hair down and wild for a while, just to give it a break from being in a braid always. Soon it was time for dinner, so while Yoongi was wrapping things up with Jin, I quietly got food ready and set it on the table. Finally, at 7pm, Yoongi ended the call and came right over to me, spinning me around and thanking me for helping him get his friend over here- Jin was bringing Yoongi a new phone and a new passport (apparently their recording agency can rush documents?). I was happy for him, so I focused on that emotion, hiding what I was really feeling and hoping I could keep Yoongi distracted long enough to not notice.

He talked a lot while he ate this time sharing lots of memories of his time with Jin, so I listened and gave him the responses he wanted, then he wanted to shower, so I told him to go ahead- I needed to clean up dinner anyway. Next thing I know, he’s wearing a different pair of shorts, not shirt like always, his wet hair wild like mine had been, with a bewildered look on his face. I thought something had gone wrong, so I immediately asked if he was ok, which is when he asked if I had gotten the new soap, shampoo, and deodorant for him. I nodded, then explained how I wanted him to feel comfortable and maybe not smell so fruity… I thought he was mad, and tears sprang to my eyes, while I bit my bottom lip, which confused him even more and he was speechless once more, just staring at me, while neither one of us spoke. It felt like forever, but it was only a minute, then he blinked and asked me to help him with his back, which I instantly agreed to, asking him to sit in the chair backwards again. I carefully covered the ones I knew needed to be, then told him I was done and sent him to brush his teeth- it was time for bed if tomorrow we needed to get ready for his friend to arrive. He silently walked down the hall, then I heard him brushing, so I took several deep breaths and hid my tears for another time.

I loaded the dishwasher and started it, then began turning off all the lights in the living room/kitchen, heading down the hall to brush my teeth. He was already lying on his stomach on my bed, but this time, he was closest to the wall, with his arm reaching out for me, when he told me I needed to cuddle him so he could sleep. I quickly got ready for bed and gently lay down next to him, on my back, looking up at the ceiling. He whispered something about how excited he was for Jin to meet me and see how amazing I was, which is when the tears started pouring from my eyes. I knew he would see, so I carefully turned onto my right side, away from him, using my fist to bite on and silence the tears.

He knew something was wrong instantly and scooted right behind me, reaching around me with his arm, asking if I was ok. I did not answer, knowing my voice was not safe, but when his hand gently touched my cheek and felt the tears, he nearly jumped out of the bed. He was on his right side, then somehow turned me so I was then on my left, his arms pulling me extremely close to his body, so his face was inches from mine, when he asked, “What is wrong? What can I do? How can I fix it? Are you hurt?” Yoongi was so worried he kept patting me, trying to find an injury or cause for the tears, but all I could do was whisper, “I’m fine Yoongi. Just let me be.” Clearly this was not what he wanted to hear, and he only became more persistent, leaning his forehead onto mine, so when I took a breath, it literally came from the same air he was breathing, which I knew must be annoying, so I finally said, “You don’t need to worry about me Yoongi. I will be fine. I’m just upset and need to cry for a minute.” He was now so worried he could not stop making up scenarios in his mind and began asking me, “Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Did you get hurt in the shower? Did you get hurt during dinner? Are you already tired of me?”

I knew he would not let this go, so I finally just buried my face in his chest and sobbed, “Yoongi, you will leave to go back to Korea and forget all about me and that’s breaking my heart. Once Jin arrives, you won’t even care about me anymore because you won’t need my help.” Now that he understood, he kissed my hair and explained, “No, sweetheart, that isn’t going to happen. First, Jin is bringing my documents, yes, but he isn’t taking me back right away. It’s not safe for me to travel yet, since we still don’t know who to trust or where I can even safely go. Second, if you think I could ever forget about you, you must not be as smart as I think you are-there is no way on this planet I’m letting you out of my sight ever again. Finally, I will always need you in my life, whether I’m injured or not, so there is no escaping my love now- it’s yours forever, whether you want it or not.”

I was sobbing so hard I could not answer, but he used the blankets to dry my tears and after a little while, heard me calming down, so he thought I was ready to talk, but it turns out I had just cried myself to sleep, which somehow made him love me even more, if that’s possible? He used the flashlight on my phone to check and sure enough, my eyes were closed, my breathing slow, and I was holding his hand loosely, clearly wanting some security. He sighed and told me everything would be ok if I trusted him to take care of the details, but he knew I would never believe him, even if I had been awake, so he needed another plan. He then realized what would make a bigger impact- writing me a song, so he carefully (and painfully) climbed out of the bed, over me, then found one of my empty notebooks and started writing everything he had been thinking recently. It was half English, half Korean, half gibberish, half sentences, when he got the idea to have Jin help him sing a song for me, since that’s the best way for him to express himself sometimes.

He stayed up way longer than he should have but needed to get things down before he forgot them and snuck back into bed to find me now against the wall, on my back, arms above my head, my cheeks filled with dry tear stains. He kissed both of my cheeks and vowed to never cause me to cry again, knowing he wouldn’t be able to keep such a promise, but he felt awful, so he needed to say it to himself. When I awoke the next morning, Yoongi was asleep next to me on his side, both arms wrapped around me, holding me together, or so it seemed. I snuck out to take care of Pinky and when I got back from walking her, Yoongi was already awake, so he surprised me. I fed her and then stood awkwardly in the living room, unsure of what to say after my meltdown.

He didn’t speak, just hugged me, making me feel his heartbeat, which somehow made me brave, so I was able to whisper, “I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t want you to see me upset, so I tried to hide it. I should have known that you would find out. I didn’t want you to worry about anything else, especially me crying over something that doesn’t even matter right now. Please don’t be mad at me.” He hugged me tighter, then replied, “Sweetheart, there is nothing you need to apologize for. Your heart is just as important as mine and I needed to protect it, but I was selfish and didn’t see the damage I was doing by ignoring you while I spoke to Jin on the phone. I should have included you, made sure you understood the plan, instead I shut you out. For that, I am the one who will apologize. Can you ever forgive me for causing your tears?” I nodded into his shoulder, so he kissed the top of my head and sighed, clearly relieved that he didn’t need to worry about risking my love just yet.

I knew we needed to get ready for Jin, mostly clean out the back seat of my car, so he put on one of the loose shirts and helped me vacuum and throw things away, so Jin and his suitcase would now both fit into my little car. Because his fight arrived at 2am, we would need to leave at midnight, which meant staying up extra late, so Yoongi suggested we have a nap after lunch and since I was emotionally drained from the night before, I did not argue. For some reason, Yoongi kept the shirt on and said laying on his back didn’t hurt very much, so he wanted me to cuddle him on my side, with my arm on his chest and his arm around my shoulders. I fell asleep almost immediately, after tucking my left hand into the waistband of his shorts, which made him kiss my hair before he also fell asleep. When we woke, it was five pm and the room looked pink because of the way the sun was hitting the curtains, so it was really pretty.

Yoongi’s eyes popped open; he took a second to remember where he was, then he saw me right next to him, still sleeping, so he gently touched my cheek, lips, ears, nose, etc. while whispering reminders of why he cared for me so much. I was not aware of this until he traced my chin, which made me twitch and open my eyes, then find him staring right back at me, with his shy smile on his face, clearly enamored with me at that moment. I blinked and bit my bottom lip, worried he was going to be upset about napping for so long, then when he ran his finger down my cheek again, I popped out my lip, which was the last straw for him, I guess, because he fully kissed me right on the lips and I did not have a second to think about it. I panicked at first, then decided to not fight it and let it happen, which he very much enjoyed, since he thought I would not allow it at all. He slowly pulled away and leaned his forehead on mine, then whispered, “I think you were right- this moment was definitely worth waiting for.” I blushed, not having any words at the moment, which made him chuckle, then just watch me for a minute, also not talking, but admiring me, I guess…

I finally came to my senses when I realized we didn’t have long until Jin arrived, so we needed to get up, and once I was standing, Yoongi quickly followed, pulling me into a hug that meant more than the others somehow, if that makes sense. He was a mix of excitement and nervousness as we got ready, ate dinner, then left for the airport. When we saw Jin, on the sidewalk, Yoongi helped me get the suitcase inside, and we quickly left, making sure nobody saw or followed us. Luckily Jin had avoided any paparazzi and felt safe knowing he was with Yoongi now. On the car ride back, he started out a little shy, but soon realized I was someone he could trust, so he started opening up. When we arrived home, I showed Jin the extra room, where he could put his stuff and sleep, then asked if he needed anything, since his flight had been long. He wanted food, so I showed him what I had, and he ended up just eating some noodles with Yoongi and since it was after 3am when we arrived home, I politely asked if they minded if I went to sleep and let them catch up, which they didn’t. Once I was asleep, Yoongi showed Jin the pages he had written in the notebook and asked for his help.

Jin laughed at how scattered the pages were, mixed languages and mixed ideas, just like he had expected from Yoongi and had seen many times before. When Yoongi gets a song concept in his mind, nothing can stop him from expressing it and that sometimes means messy notes. Yoongi was so excited to see Jin again they stayed up for hours, chatting and catching up. Everyone was worried about Yoongi, since they hadn’t seen him in several weeks, which Jin said didn’t make sense because Yoongi never disappeared- he always told at least one other member where he was going, for safety. Yoongi was also worried about his safety, but since there were no memories yet, he didn’t know who they could trust either. Jin gave Yoongi his new passport and phone, which made him happy, but also worried- now the recording studio knew Yoongi was secretly hiding somewhere, but Jin assured Yoongi that it wasn’t an issue- Mr. Lee, their oldest and most trusted bodyguard had helped Jin get the items, so there was no issue of not trusting him- he would keep the secret no matter what.

I woke up at 7am to care for Pinky and they were still chatting on the couch, so I smiled and offered to make them coffee, which made them both happy. I knew seeing Yoongi being happy with his friend meant more than anything else, so I happily made them their drinks and delivered them to the couch, where they sipped and continued chatting animatedly. Jin asked if he could shower, so of course I said yes, then had Yoongi show him the hallway bathroom, since I was now cooking breakfast. After Jin was set, Yoongi came over to me and said, “You have no idea what having Jin here has done for me. The fact that you were willing to pick him up from the airport and now let him stay here is unbelievable. Another way you can easily make someone fall in love with you, but I know you aren’t even trying anymore. You are just following your heart and that’s what makes your attraction to powerful.” I smiled up at him, not even pretending to argue this time, since we both knew I would not be stopping my kind actions any time soon. Yoongi kissed my cheek and began helping me set the food on the table, a mix of eggs, Korean foods, and fruit. He knew Jin would appreciate the effort as well, which made him glow with pride.

After Jin was clean, he came out and saw the table, then looked just as shocked as Yoongi had the day before. He exclaimed something to Yoongi, who chuckled, then pointed to me and clearly told him what I had been doing all along. Jin switched to English and said, “Wow! Thank you so much for all this food! You are truly special! I can see why Yoongi loves you!” I nodded, then blushed, and hid my face in my hands, causing both of them to giggle and sit down to start eating. We easily chatted and ate for the next hour, with Jin speaking both in English and Korean, which Yoongi helped translate (when he wanted to).

I noticed that when Yoongi spoke about me, or about how he felt about me, which I could tell by his facial expressions and body language, he chose not to translate. When they made general comments about the food or something in the past, he was happy to translate, which made me extremely suspicious and after a while I asked Jin what he was saying because clearly Yoongi was not going to tell me himself. Jin looked shocked, then laughed, loving how spicy I was, even though I couldn’t tell exactly what he was talking about. He did his best to convey his words, something about me being very sweet and how I could be trusted to keep them both safe while they figured this out, which I thanked him for, then scowled at Yoongi for keeping it from me, which caused him to burst out laughing, since I really don’t have a very good mean face at all. Now they were both laughing and I was over it- I rolled my eyes and sighed- it was like having two teenagers in the house with their own secret language.

At least I knew they weren’t speaking badly about me, so that cheered me up a bit. Jin was then attempting to tell me his plan for helping Yoongi, but I was distracted by the fact that Yoongi was frowning, which alarmed me. Normally Yoongi is happy or excited when hearing about how someone wants to help him return to his normal life. I was only halfway paying attention but snapped back to Jin’s face when he started talking about bringing the other guys over here as well- what?! I quickly reminded Jin that my car was small, my apartment was small, and there was no way I could host all seven of them by myself! He laughed again, saying he didn’t mean here- he just meant America, nearby, in an Airbnb house with a rental car, so I could help them all, but have some space as well. Now I was laughing, as I had imagined sharing my place with all of them, none of whom care about privacy or personal space and are used to living together, while I was the only girl.

Jin said he planned to attempt to stay up all day, to get used to this time zone, since he didn’t know how long he would be here, which Yoongi also wanted to do, but I knew they would both need a nap, so I suggested they plan for a while, then nap after lunch and I could wake them for dinner, which made sense to them and they agreed. Their first mission was to order Yoongi’s wallet items and have them sent to one of the other members- Jin was going to use his phone, since everyone would recognize it, to get that plan set up. The other members would be able to go get Yoongi’s mail whenever the new cards arrived, and bring them to him, along with a new wallet. Yoongi was searching for a place for them to stay nearby, so they could be close, but also have their own space while giving me a chance to get to know them. We figured all five other members didn’t need to come, since that would be very suspicious, but if even just one more was willing, it would be super helpful.

Yoongi was on the phone for the rest of the morning, chatting with the guys and planning for who would get the mail and fly over eventually. Joon, JHope, and Jimin decided to stay behind, to make sure nobody suspected anything was happening, while Tae and JK would fly over to bring the stuff. I was worried about them being recognized and followed, but Jin said his 2am arrival had been amazing, so he was sure it would work for them as well, so I had to trust that it would. Yoongi found a rental house just five minutes away, in a quiet neighborhood near my mum, so it would be perfect to hide them in. Jin said he would join the others when they arrived, giving Yoongi more time with me here, since he had realized Yoongi would not leave me alone for long.

Yoongi was flipping between excitement and worry, constantly frowning, pursing his lips, and rubbing his hands on his legs, which he thought I wouldn’t notice, but of course I did. When he was done having me fix his back again, right before lunch, he stood up and hugged me, but it was a tense hug, which alarmed me, so I kept my face right next to his as I whispered, “Yoongi, I see how worried you are and I want to help, but I don’t know how. Can you please let me do something to relieve your stress?”

He sighed, kissed my cheek, and replied, “I should have known you would notice. Is there anything you aren’t amazing at doing?” I shrugged my shoulders, not sure how to answer, when he continued, “I am just not sure if Jin’s plan is the best, since we still don’t know how I even got here in the first place. The more people we tell, the higher the chance is of someone finding out where I am and I don’t want to put your life in danger because of me. I would rather die than ever let you get hurt because of something I had done or said. Jin thinks I’m overreacting and being paranoid, but he doesn’t understand- you found me on a random park bench, in the middle of nowhere. How is that even possible? My memory still won’t come back, and I am concerned it will be gone forever, along with the chance to catch whoever is behind this terrible tragedy I have endured.”

I could tell he had been holding a lot in for a while, so I let him vent, just listening, then I leaned back to look into his eyes, which I saw were very worried, then I assured him, “Whatever happens, just know that I am here for you. Anything you need, anything you want to tell me, anything you don’t want someone else to know or see, I will do it. Please trust me when I say I’ll always have your back Yoongi.” He leaned his forehead on mine, took a deep breath, whispered, “I know, I can always count on you to keep me safe and steady.” Then he kissed me quickly, causing me to forget how to breathe for a moment and my cheeks caught fire, which he chuckled about and went back to Jin.

I stayed in the kitchen for a bit, letting my cheeks cool down, then joined them- I was excited to meet the other guys, but nervous about how we would ever find out what had actually happened to Yoongi without it becoming a major event for the paparazzi to spin into something terrible. Whoever had taken Yoongi and hurt him clearly wanted to break up the band, for whatever reason, so we needed to focus on ways to prevent that from ever happening. Jin suggested a live event where they revealed a new song, to get the fans excited about their reunion and Yoongi’s face immediately turned so red he had to get up and walk down the hallway, surprising me, making Jin giggle and me to then be super confused. Jin then explained how Yoongi had written me a song, but didn’t want me to hear it yet, so perhaps a live event would be the perfect way?

I knew Yoongi would not see it that way, wanting it to be private at first before anyone else heard it, besides, as I told Jin, whatever the lyrics were, it most likely came from Yoongi’s heart and he wouldn’t want the world commenting or making fun of his hard work that wasn’t meant for the public. Jin then understood and asked if Yoongi would be ok, so I stood up and said I would go talk to him- he just needed time to calm down. I found Yoongi pacing in my bedroom, super angry face, whispering to himself in Korean, like I expected. I stood in front of him, blocking his path, then held both of his cheeks in my hands and said, “I am sorry Jin ruined your surprise, as you clearly did not want me to find out about your new song, but I have spoken with him, and he now understands why it cannot be played publicly.” Yoongi focused on my calm voice, wrapped his strong arms around me and replied, “How did I ever get so lucky to find you? How can I ever live without you again? I never wanted you to find out this way- I wanted to surprise you by singing it just for you, so you could really listen to my heart and know how I feel, even when I am speechless. Now the moment is ruined, and I cannot take it back.”

I knew how upset he was going to be, but I didn’t know how much his words would impact me- I looked at him and let him see the tears that sprang to my eyes- then said shakily, “Yoongi, it means more to me that you actually wrote me something, than the fact that you wanted it to be a surprise. I don’t care if it’s not a secret just for me- whatever helps you and the members is fine with me. I just want you to be happy.” He saw my sincerity, heard my heartfelt emotional voice, and in that instant, knew that he could not control how others reacted- just how he reacted to others, including me. He took a deep breath, brushed his thumbs underneath my eyes to wipe the few stray tears away, then whispered, “I need you to hear my words first, so you know what is truly in my heart even when my words don’t work.” He was so close to my face that I felt his lips moving as he spoke, causing a few more tears to sneak out and him to kiss me gently, then wipe them away and promise to never hide anything from me- as long as I promised to always be open with him as well.

I nodded, my heart still racing from his kiss, which he enjoyed and liked watching my cheeks catch fire, then cool down when he gave me a moment to just blink. He loved staring at me, which I thought was odd and hard to handle, but since it made him happy, I allowed it. After a few minutes, he leaned his forehead on mine and sighed, knowing he needed to go back and face Jin, to tell him his true thoughts, and make sure he knew the reasons why. Jin was more than happy to apologize, not realizing the song was not meant for the public and suggested they write a different song, so when the other two members arrived, they could work on it together. That made Yoongi so happy he couldn’t stop smiling and patting his knees, which Jin and I both smiled about, making eye contact behind his back and giving each other thumbs up signals. They began tossing topics around while I got lunch ready, then we all ate and I sent them to nap, after holding Yoongi’s hand until he fell asleep.

During their naps, I did laundry, dishes, wrote a little in one of my random stories, and was jamming out to one of my favorite songs in the kitchen when Jin wandered out, looking like he had just woken from six months of hibernation, but it was actually already five o’clock. His hair was so wild I instantly laughed, which made him laugh and we began chatting easily, him finally feeling comfortable around me now. I asked if he wanted a snack, which he did, so I gave him some of the fresh Korean fruit, and he mentioned that if I wasn’t careful, he would also fall in love with me because I was feeding him great food he liked too, which made me panic and protest, but he was actually teasing me… I realized it after the panic set in, which made me laugh at myself, so by the time Yoongi wandered out soon after, Jin and I were both laughing, him happily eating his fruit, me just finishing up the dishes. Yoongi’s smile was so big it lit up the whole place and Jin commented on how wonderful I was, saying the same thing Yoongi had told me- the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, then he held up an orange and winked at me.

Yoongi absolutely laughed so hard it made him fall to the floor after he saw Jin’s wink and the panic on my face, forgetting he was still teasing me. I started stuttering and mumbling about how it wasn’t true- I was just being nice to Jin, which made them laugh harder and I soon gave up, knowing they needed to get their giggles out so I would not go insane. I started on dinner then, which Yoongi and Jin were both excited about, since they are always hungry, which didn’t surprise me.