I was bored, since it was summer vacation and school was out for two months, so I decided to apply to work with a special events company, someone who traveled and handled ticketing, security, etc. It was so fun! I had only worked three jobs since starting, but then in July, they asked me to work for the FIFA world cup finals, since nobody wanted to work the backstage areas where none of the actual game could be seen. I don’t follow sports, so it was completely fine with me. I had to buy my plane ticket, but they paid for the hotel and all my other expenses, so it was a good deal- plus I got paid to work my shift for the whole day/night (it was a double shift, 16 hours long).

I packed and got all my plans in order, then suddenly it was time to fly across the country the night before. My flight landed around 5pm, then I was taken to the hotel the company had chosen for all employees, so we could take one shuttle to and from the stadium together. I had met some of the other employees at other jobs, so we ate dinner together, then went our separate ways- we had to start working at 6am the next day, so we needed our rest.

The next morning, I woke up and got ready, then put on my uniform, black pants with a dark purple polo shirt, which I wore a black long-sleeved shirt under, just in case I was outside in the sun during the day. I headed down to the breakfast area, where the hotel had prepared food for all employees, around 20, and we ate quickly, knowing we would need energy for the busy day ahead. We left the hotel at 5:30am, got to the stadium shortly after, then got our assignments for the day. I was backstage, away from any of the game action, so I took my walkie talkie and made sure it worked, then went to the area I had been assigned to and got familiar with the exits, stairs, rooms, etc. I wanted to be helpful if anyone asked me where something was during my shift. Soon, stadium crew members began arriving, prepping the field for the big game, and doing final checks on the seating areas. I was in charge of the entire backstage area, so I looked in every possible corner of both locker rooms, making sure there was nothing dangerous that could injure any players, then went to check the waiting rooms the performers would be in much later.

Soon, it was already 9am and the first team members began arriving, wanting to warm up and get a feel for the field before the big game. Both teams were practicing on the field, not on the same half though, so when a player would ask me where something was, I knew exactly how to direct them, since I had memorized the layout. I continued to wander, making sure I was always visible for anyone who might have questions, when the players began arriving back to the locker rooms to use the sauna/hot tub/ice baths before the big match.

I stayed out of the locker rooms after that but continued to make sure they knew I could help if they needed anything. Around 12:30pm, I was checking my clipboard to see when the first ticketholders would arrive, when someone cleared their throat and asked, “Excuse me, can you please point us to the green room?” I looked up and smiled, then replied automatically, “Of course! Right this way!” I did not fully realize who I was leading until later, so I was completely calm and very professional at the time. After reaching the first waiting room for performers, I motioned him inside, then watched at least 15 others enter after him. Another tall man then asked, “Do you know when the soundcheck is scheduled to happen?” I nodded, then checked my official clipboard. “My schedule says 1pm, so if you get your mic packs on and grab the microphones you’ll be using, I imagine they will be ready by the time you are. The performance area is marked with white lines on the field for you, since it won’t interfere with the actual game later.” He smiled and turned to the others, then translated what I had just said into Korean.

I turned and walked away, thinking they were done with me, so imagine my surprise when a different guy came sprinting into the hallway yelling, “Hey! Miss! We are needing more questions from you!” I stopped and turned to face him, then said, “OK, sure. How can I help?” He grabbed my arm and pulled me back into the room, saying something rapidly to the others, then dropped my arm and went over to someone who was handing out mic packs. I was now confused, but then another guy (how were there so many handsome guys in one area at the same time) came over and asked, “Where does this go?” I just stared, unsure of what he was talking about- the hallway, or the mic battery pack he was holding. He turned around twice, then looked at me, like I was supposed to solve the problem somehow. Interesting how magically creating pockets on performer’s pants was NOT in the job description… I laughed and tried to help him find a pocket- there literally weren’t any, so I told him he needed another pair of pants.

He handed me the mic pack, said something to one of the other people in the room, then walked to the corner and immediately changed into the other pair of pants he was given. I had turned away, because while he clearly did not care about privacy, I would not be the employee who was ever accused of not being respectful to all guests. He quickly walked back over to me and turned around, facing the back of the pants towards me, with pockets this time, then asked, “Can you help please?” I laughed again, not knowing exactly what he expected me to do, but when I carefully put the battery pack into the pocket and then began stringing the wires up his back (inside his shirt) until they appeared around his collar, it was clear I had done the correct thing because he turned and smiled, then said thank you and walked away. I guess I did something right because another one appeared out of nowhere and asked me the same thing… I repeated the process, asking this one if I was doing it correctly, and he said yes, they all needed help getting their mic packs on.

After the fourth guy had me help them, it became clear that they thought I was the mic pack girl and they all took turns making me put their mic battery packs on. Finally, when the last (7^th) member was all set, he said thank you and they all walked from the room. I shook my head in disbelief, but what was I supposed to do? I cannot say no if anyone asks me for help, so I had to help them, even if I was clueless at first. Because I was backstage, far away from the field, I could not hear their music or see anything. I had to take my break at this time, drink water, etc. and by the time I was back, checking all the spaces I was in charge of again, they were arriving back at their waiting room on their golf carts (that’s how far away the field was).

I had no idea what they thought my job would be now, but it soon became clear that they expected me to undo the process when the first one came right over to me and took out his earpieces, then stood still, just waiting. I laughed to myself, then carefully untucked the wires from his collar and down his back, then took the mic pack out of his pocket and carefully wound the wires up so they would not tangle. He took it from me, said thank you, and gave it to one of the staff members they had entered with. This process was repeated until all seven were now wire-free, and just hanging around, looking like they had no idea what to do. It was now 3:30pm, the match would be starting at 6pm, their half-time show was around 8pm, and I didn’t know how long the second half would last.

After I had helped the final member, one of the others came over to me and asked if I knew of any good places to eat in the area, since they had several hours until they needed to perform. I replied, “Oh no, I’m sorry! I don’t actually live here, so I can’t recommend any place specifically! I can ask another employee if you want?”

Then he asked where I was from, I said Seattle, so he got excited and said they wanted to visit Seattle, but it couldn’t happen on the first part of their US tour. I said I understood- there are so many good cities to visit it would be impossible to choose only the top ten! He laughed and asked if I wanted to explore this city with them, but I reminded him that I was working and he was not allowed to leave the stadium, which made him frown and think for a moment. Suddenly, he exclaimed, “We can go out after the match is done!” I tried to match his enthusiasm, but was very unsure of my part in it, so I just responded, “Yes, you can take your friends to anywhere you want after the match is done.” He looked right at me and answered, “No, I mean you can come with us to eat and explore. I want you to come too.” I was shocked, but calmly said, “Ok, but you know I’ll be working until around midnight, right?” He shrugged and said he didn’t care- he wanted to see how fun I was outside of work, since I was so nice to everyone.

I was now confused- what had I done to convince him that we should be friends? He was still waiting for my response when I finally answered hesitantly, “Ok, I agree with your plan, but just know I am unsure of your motives and if you change your mind, I won’t be upset at all.” He seemed to accept my response and nodded, then smiled. I told him I needed to do a quick walk around to check the areas before the match started and he asked if he could come too- they wouldn’t be needed for a while and he was bored. I shrugged my shoulders and didn’t see any reason to deny his request, so he began following me as I walked down the hallway. I checked the entire hallway and stopped at both separate locker rooms to ask if anyone needed anything, but so far, everyone was good, so we continued walking around until I randomly saw a tiny little spec of something that was sparkling, high up on a ledge. I tried reaching it, but just couldn’t, so I turned to him and asked if he could reach it. He stepped closer to the ledge (and me), then easily grabbed the small item and handed it to me, inches from my face.

I got super excited because it was a tiny little trophy, like a toy someone had lost at some point, and had given up on ever finding. He saw my excitement and quietly chuckled, then just watched me as I made several happy sounds and hopped up and down a few times. I told him to give me his hand, which he did, then I carefully placed the miniature trophy into his palm, saying, “Congratulations! You have won the award for being the sweetest performer I have ever helped backstage!” He didn’t respond right away, just smiled at me, so I thought I had done something wrong… He saw my confusion, then whispered, “I accept this award only if the giver is willing to share it because she is the sweetest backstage worker I have ever met.”

I grinned right back up at him, finally noticing how much taller he was, then placed my hand, palm up, right under his, so I was touching his hand gently. He seemed to panic for a moment, then asked, “How can you be so real?” I frowned, then replied, “How did you think I was pretend before?” Now we both stared at each other, unsure of what the other one was thinking, as a few seconds of silence passed… Suddenly, I heard a loud whistle, signaling the beginning of the match, so the trance was broken and I backed away from him, making sure he kept the trophy in his hand safely before we headed back to our main area. I realized we kind of needed to hurry, so I grabbed his hand and ran back down the hallway, heading towards the locker rooms.

Part of my job was also to help the laundry workers gather all the used towels from the locker rooms (when empty) and replace them with clean towels, so I waved to my friend (a worker I had met before) and we began placing all the used towels into her empty bin together. The tall performer just watched at first, unsure of what the goal was, but then when I explained the process, he asked if he could help- he didn’t like just sitting around being useless. I laughed, but understood, so I offered to show him how to place the clean towels in the correct spots. After one or two failed attempts, it became clear that folding towels was NOT his special talent and I was laughing so hard I had to turn away to take some deep breaths before I could continue.

After that, I held out a large clean towel, one corner in each of mine, then told him to grab two corners of his own. He thought I meant the same two corners, so he was now standing directly behind me, extremely close, breathing on my neck, but I was not paying attention, so I didn’t notice at first. I then modeled how to fold the towel in half, then half again, then into thirds, and place the neat towel on the shelf above the player’s bench. He had helped me reach up to the shelf because it was a little higher than I was used to, then I turned suddenly to thank him and that’s when I realized he was literally inches away, just staring at me, obviously unsure of what to do or say, as was I.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, then stepped to the side, under his arm, and began folding the next towel, to make sure we finished our task before the team returned. He attempted a few on his own after that, but failed each time, so ended up being the middleman by reaching the clean ones for me and “helping” me fold every other one, somehow always managing to be exactly where I needed him when I was done and couldn’t reach the high shelves. He was very chatty while we worked, asking me about my job, the other workers, traveling, etc. but I honestly couldn’t give him many details because this was the first time I had worked in a major arena and had absolutely no clue about any of the surrounding areas.

If I got stuck on an answer, I would pause, stare at him, bite my bottom lip, and blink in silence for a few seconds, which clearly confused (and/or amused) him because he would often trace my lips with his fingers, rub my cheeks, tuck my wild hair behind my ears, run his fingers down my jawline, or simply lean his forehead on mine, all without speaking, so I had absolutely no clue what he was doing or why.

We finished both locker rooms in time and then I needed to help my friend push the two giant bins of used towels to the laundry room to be cleaned before we repeated the process during the second half- players used a lot of towels while changing/preparing and our job was to make sure they never ran out. He helped us push, clearly very strong, and once the bins were inside the laundry room, those workers took over, so I waved and turned to leave with him. As we walked, I was explaining how I needed to do another walk through, to make sure everything was still going smoothly, when another member of his band came running up and grabbed me, then spun me around in a giant hug while laughing. I laughed as well, then stumbled when he put me down, the first member using his strong arms to catch me, then asked if I was ok. I smiled at him, promising that I was ok, just surprised and clumsy.

The other member exclaimed that it was time for them to get ready to perform, so he took the other one and began pulling him towards the dressing room they had originally come from. He turned to ask if I could follow them, but just then my walkie started talking and I had to go do a task in the opposite direction, which he was disappointed about, but then I yelled to him we could catch up later and they both grinned as they went the opposite way. Turns out, someone on the referee roster had gotten injured, so I needed to clear a path for the EMTs to get onto the field, then transfer the person to the ambulance for the hospital ride. I knew exactly what to do, grabbed my safety vest, and headed onto the field, ready for action.

Within ten minutes the injured ref had been removed, the game had a new ref (we had multiple subs available for just these cases) and I was leading the EMTs back down the hallway towards the loading bay, where the ambulance was waiting. My adrenalin was extremely high, so when the members walked past me, escorting the group of EMTs, wheeling the stretcher, I waved, but could not stop because I was in work mode and they all stopped to stare- I’m not sure they had ever been fully ignored since becoming so famous and I honestly did not care- my priority was the patient and the EMTs.

Luckily, their halftime show was great, without incident, and all performers made it safely back into the dressing rooms unharmed. Oddly enough, during the halftime show a random soccer player had gotten hurt when attempting to warm up for the second half, so I had to escort another patient to the loading bay for the hospital, and I was now unsure of how this night would go… I was right to be worried because as the second half continued, there were three more players who got injured badly enough to need the EMTs and the hospital, so I was constantly running back onto the field with my safety vest, escorting the medical team off the field and making sure the hallways were clear as they made it to the loading bay.

Because of this, I was unable to help my friend finish any of her towel jobs, but she appreciated the little time I could spare. I didn’t know it at the time, but the members had been spying on me, specifically the one from earlier, and he was amazed at how calm I remained while handling high-stress situations and never having a moment to rest in between. When the match finally ended, the losing team was in their locker room first, so I obviously did not go inside, just asked each player/coach if they needed anything as they entered, so they knew I was still around to help. Their coaching staff really appreciated my attention to details, as well as my calm, quick thinking when their players got injured, so they gave me one of their extra team jackets, saying they hoped I could work at more of their future games.

I smiled, very proud of my hard work being noticed, but didn’t think it mattered to anyone outside of the backstage area. I should have known that the member who had given me attention earlier would be watching in the hallway and would immediately approach me as I left the locker doorway, thanking the coaches loudly. I turned around to see where I was going and instantly ran into what I thought was a brick wall, then fell to the ground- or would have, if a pair of strong arms had not caught me midair and pulled me into a hug.

“Ah! I’m sorry! I don’t know why I’m so clumsy!” I exclaimed, searching his face to make sure he wasn’t mad at me for running into him. He smiled, then replied, “It was my fault for not letting you know I was right here. Are you ok? Did I hurt you?” He frowned and clenched his jaw, worried about me. I shook my head, then answered, “No, you didn’t hurt me- you saved me! How in the world are you so strong?” He chuckled, then gave me a half grin and shrugged his shoulders, clearly embarrassed, but I did not care. I threw my arms around his neck, reaching up with my tippy toes, now wearing this huge sports jacket, which made him genuinely laugh as he hugged me in return, putting his arms around me, inside the oversized jacket, pulling me close and resting his cheek on my head. How was he so tall? How had I not noticed earlier?

He mumbled something (perhaps to himself), so I pulled away and looked up into his eyes, then asked, “Are you mad? I just couldn’t stop myself from thanking you for saving me!” He kept his arms around my back and whispered, “I highly doubt I could ever be mad at you, honestly. Why would hugging you be a bad thing? I am enjoying being close to you, since you are so cute and cuddly and you smell really nice. Have you not noticed I have been trying to get your attention all day?” I blinked a couple times, now utterly perplexed. He laughed at my confusion, leaned his forehead on mine, and commented, “Did you not wonder why I was following you around and enjoying your tasks when I got to be close to you?” I raised my eyebrows, suddenly understanding the towel incident to be more than him being clueless about laundry…

My cheeks caught fire as I realized how absolutely daft I had been acting all day, which he saw, and responded by putting one of his cheeks on mine, then whispering, “I am sorry for not being more obvious about it, but this reaction is totally worth it. You are even cuter when your cheeks catch fire and I hope I get to see it a lot more often.” I was so glad he could not see my face at that moment- I felt like the floor was a volcano and my whole body was on fire from his comment. I buried my face in his neck, which surprised him, so he chuckled and kissed the top of my head, amused by my attempt to hide my face from him. After about a minute, I felt like I was going to be ok, so I looked up and whispered, “Please don’t be mad when your comments make me embarrassed- I’m not trying to be rude- I just get overwhelmed and it surprises me how my reaction is so strong, even though I just met you.” He leaned down and gently rubbed his nose with mine, then said, “Don’t worry, I have lots of things to say to you, but I promise to not say them all at once, so you can have time to adjust and accept them when you are ready.”

I nodded and stepped back, forcing him to let go, which created a much-needed moment for me to refocus and figure out my next move. I was still working, so I had to continue my job first, which was at least another hour’s worth of tasks. I took a deep breath, then explained, “I have a few things to do before I am done working, so if you want, you can help me and then we can make a plan with the other members to hang out.” His face lit up and he nodded multiple times, so I motioned to the hallway, since we now had to visit the other locker room to check on the winning team, which was finally coming in off the field (after celebrating) and was headed to their locker room. As the players walked past, they high fived me, picked me up and spun me around, patted my head, etc. not really noticing I was wearing the other team’s jacket and definitely not even caring.

Their coaches were also impressed by my professionalism, so they also gave me a coaching jacket, which I swapped out for the other one, just so I could show my appreciation of their generosity. I thanked them one last time, then dropped off both jackets in the dressing room where the other members were waiting, explaining that I needed to finish working before we could hang out. They were bored, so they offered to help me, but since I was now in charge of helping with the stadium clean up, I did not think they would accept- I was wrong. The one who had spun me earlier, ran past me onto the field, having boundless energy, bringing a soccer ball, so he could play with the other members. I laughed, since it looked like they were having lots of fun just being regular guys, without any paparazzi or stalkers around to ruin it.

I started with the benches on each side of the field, gathering all towels that needed to be washed, any water bottles that they were going to reuse, throwing all trash away, etc. My fellow employees were up in the stadium seats, cleaning those areas, so I was happy to help with the field areas. It took me a good 45 minutes before I could cross the field to get to the other team’s benches. I yelled to the members that I was crossing, warned them not to kick me, then made sure I was safe before jogging across. I made it safely, then began working on that area. It was faster because this team had clearly been taught to clean up after themselves- the towels were in the correct bin, there was no trash anywhere except the trashcans, and they had neatly lined up their items to be saved on the bench itself, ready for me to take back to their locker room.

I did the same thing as I was about to cross the field back to the other side, now needing to get one of the golf carts to come collect the bins I had positioned in the hallway right outside their bench areas. I yelled that I was crossing again, but I guess one of them didn’t hear me because as I was about halfway across, a very fast soccer ball came flying at me, but since I was not expecting it, I couldn’t react in time and I went down hard. The member who had been with me, just a few steps behind, reached me first, then began checking to see which part of me was hurt- that soccer ball had been kicked very strongly, so he knew there would be something wrong.

He started with my head, no blood or pain that he could tell, but as he held up my arms, he noticed something was off- I was in shock, not able to speak, but when he touched my left arm, I gasped in pain, causing him to roll up my black shirt sleeve and see my bone clearly broken, my hand just hanging limply by my side. He used the walkie talkie to ask one of my coworkers to come help and within two minutes someone was there, just like I had been earlier, safety vest and medical staff and all. They agreed with him that it was definitely a broken bone, so I was strapped onto a backboard, then lifted onto the stretcher and driven off the field. He rode in the cart with me, while the other members followed, leaving the field, done playing now. When the stretcher got to the loading bay, we were still waiting on the ambulance, so the member who was with me, asked if he could accompany me to the hospital, but since he was not my family member, they knew the ER would not allow him to do so. They did offer to help him get to the hospital to wait for me, so he could bring my personal belongings, which he gladly offered to do and one of my coworkers quickly went to get for him.

Meanwhile, the one who had kicked the ball and hurt me, was very upset, not wanting me to be hurt because of his mistake, so he insisted on riding to the hospital with the other member to wait for me. The other five members agreed to head back to their hotel and wait for news of my injury, since they were worried, but not as much as the other two. Within fifteen minutes I was in the ambulance driving away and the two members were in the car of another staff member, following the ambulance to the hospital. It only took a little while for the doctors to determine my left arm was broken in three places, I needed surgery, and I would not be leaving the hospital with the two members after all. The hospital staff tried to convince them to leave right away, but they refused until I was out of surgery- then they agreed to leave and come back during visiting hours.

Meanwhile, I had no clue any of this had happened because the instant the soccer ball had cracked my bones, my mind shut off and I was not aware of anything- thankfully. I woke up the next morning, in a strange room, beeping everywhere, my body full of pain, and my brain feeling extremely fuzzy. Luckily, a super friendly nurse came in a few minutes later and explained what had happened. I couldn’t remember any of it, but then I looked down at my left arm, covered in a giant mess of bandages and realized it must be true. She said I would need to stay a few days in the hospital because even though the surgery had been successful, they wanted to make sure I was ok to be independent and care for my arm in the coming months. She also said they didn’t want me to fly alone on an airplane immediately after having surgery, so they were going to keep me.

I don’t know why, but hearing that made me instantly burst into tears, knowing I wasn’t going to be independent for a while, which is the unfortunate EXACT moment the two members walked in. I don’t know what devotion or instant love or admiration looks like, but I bet it appeared that day when one of them came into the room, saw me in that hospital bed, noticed my wet cheeks, and felt powerless. The one who was responsible for my injury burst into tears himself, kneeling down at the foot of my bed, muttering what I assumed to be apologies, while the nurse tried to convince him that I was going to be ok eventually. The other one, raced to my side, held my good hand in his, careful not to touch any of the tubes attached to me, and kissed my forehead, then whispered, “I am so sorry and I hope you can forgive us. We only want the best for you and I will spend my entire life proving it if you give me a chance.” He then carefully tried wiping some of my tears away but soon realized he was going to be fighting a losing battle, so he reached the tissues and gently dabbed my cheeks until it seemed like the waterfalls were done.

I was so overwhelmed and exhausted at this point that I honestly could not have spoken anyway, but the member at the bottom of the bed then attempted to pick me up, causing everyone in the room to panic, because I was such a noodle from the pain meds I couldn’t even hold my own head up, let alone be picked up. He quickly realized it would not work, so decided to simply climb into the bed with me, on my good side, just squishing himself next to me and wrapping his arms around me, placing his head right next to mine and telling me random things I absolutely could not understand or respond to. The other member explained to the nurses that he was the youngest member and therefore is usually hard to control because he has such a caring heart and acts on his impulses, so once they understood he was genuinely worried about me and trying to make me feel better, while also apologizing for hurting me in the first place, they didn’t argue about him and just warned him to be extremely careful when moving around, so I didn’t have any more pain. He was now kissing my cheeks, forehead, nose and chin, everywhere he could reach, excluding my lips, which the other member had specifically asked him not to touch- I was not aware of any of this either.

Luckily, visiting hours in surgery recovery are far more restrictive than regular hospital visiting hours, so after 4 hours they both had to leave. I had been in and out of awareness (due to the meds I was given), so when they finally left, I had no clue how much time had passed and therefore could not understand why I was suddenly alone. Luckily, I was now forced to get some sleep, and this helped the hospital staff make sure my arm was set still and healing in the correct way. Soon, it was the next day, and guess which two visitors came immediately into my room the instant they were allowed? The youngest one came skipping in, grinning right at me, singing my name very loudly, and attempted to pick me up, but then remembered he wasn’t allowed, so he jumped into bed with me and started his usual cuddling routine. I was more aware now, so I giggled when he was kissing me, unsure of why, but understanding his intentions were pure. The hospital staff had seen him crowding into my regular sized bed the day before, so overnight they had transferred me to a larger bed, so this time he had tons of space to squeeze into and definitely would not hurt my arm any further.

The other member hovered over my head, waiting for his turn, then when I was able to break free of the snuggle attack, I made eye contact and smiled up at him. He felt his heart stop for a second, then reached down to gently touch my cheek, as he said, “I am so happy to see you are doing a little better today. We missed you last night.” I was confused, which he saw when I frowned, so he continued, “We had planned to bring you home and share food with you but couldn’t because of your injury. We are hopeful that soon we can do this and show you that we can be trusted with your life.” I nodded, still unsure of what he was imagining in his mind but was then distracted by the other member asking me about my arm. He wanted to know if it was safe for him to put his arm around me yet, but the nurse answered and said nope.

I had much more mental clarity this day, so when I noticed the older member pacing back and forth to my right, I needed a plan to get the younger one to leave my room just for a few minutes… That’s when I remembered there was drawing paper near the nurses’ station, so I sent him on a mission to get us some art supplies, so he could make me a picture while I was stuck inside the hospital. He happily jumped up and hopped from the room, allowing me to reach my right hand out and whisper, “I know you are worried about something, so please come here and tell me quickly while he’s gone.” Apparently, I did not need to ask him twice and he was next to me instantly, leaning his forehead on mine and replying, “I am sorry for worrying you, but I have a lot going on in my mind and was trying to shield you from it.”

I shook my head, then responded, “Tell me anything and everything, we only have a few minutes. Don’t be afraid- I can handle it.” He took a deep breath and began, “We fly to our next concert location tonight, so I am worried about your safety and recovery once you are allowed to leave this hospital, since I won’t be there to help in any way. I truly want to be someone you can depend on, but in this instance, I am unable to provide such a thing and it’s breaking my heart. I don’t want you to think we don’t care, because we definitely do, as you have seen by his constant need to be near you and make sure you are ok. He feels extremely guilty about what happened and wants to make it up to you somehow. I am worried about you getting further injuries as you return to your normal life as well- how can you be safe without me to protect you? I feel an unexplainable need to be near you and it’s frustrating to imagine being an ocean apart when you need me the most.”

I understood his words, gave him a reassuring squeeze with my good hand in his, then answered, “I know it’s not ideal, but I think you knew we’d be separated soon anyway, so let’s focus on how to make our time apart manageable for all of us. You need to tour, and I need to return home to recover. Once we get a system figured out, I think we can find overlapping times to meet again. Let’s start with video calls, since that would allow you both to check on me and not cause any extra physical demands on my arm…” He smiled and kissed my cheek, then agreed, “I like the way you solve problems with calmness and don’t waste time on details that don’t matter. No wonder I feel like I’ve known you forever and need you in my life- you bring me balance and happiness.” I blushed and he chuckled- said he was going to miss seeing that in person, but I knew he would be fine for a little while. When the other member returned, he saw what was happening and instead of entering the room loudly, he quietly came in and asked if he was ok to interrupt. I laughed and the other member sighed- knowing our alone time was over and wouldn’t be the same with an audience anyway. The youngest member claimed his spot next to me again, then began drawing for me, as he described what he was making.

I was awake for most of it, but then fell asleep leaning on his shoulder, so when he was done, he held it up for me to see, but found my eyes closed instead and kissed my hair as he told the other member I was the right choice and he was happy I was so good, but very sorry he had ruined our chances to spend time together outside the hospital. He wasn’t mad- just disappointed, but the picture made up for it- he had drawn two silhouettes standing in a field of flowers, holding hands, while the sun set, and the clouds spelled out “LOVE”, which was very thoughtful of him. Before they knew it, the time to leave had come and both wanted me to know how important to them I was, so the youngest wrote a quick note for his picture, while the other one left the long letter he had written me the night before, putting into writing what he could not say with spoken words just yet (in front of others). I woke up several hours later and saw their things, appreciated them both, but cried just the same because I knew it was hard for them to leave me and even harder for them to see me being so injured while they had to continue their tour, pretending to be happy on stage.

Luckily, I was clear to fly home three days later, so once I actually got back to Seattle, I let them know and even though it was the middle of the night for me (I had landed at midnight), they still wanted to video call. I was so happy to see their faces I accidentally dropped my phone, then fell on the floor attempting to reach it, with my balance being off since my arm injury. They were worried, but I was fine- just really clumsy. All of the members wanted to talk/see me, so we chatted loudly for a while, then the youngest wanted his solo turn, which just meant he wanted to ask me about his picture, then explain why he knew I was meant to be his best friend. I made sure he knew how much I appreciated his time and effort- I showed him that I had placed it on the wall in my room so I could see it every day and when he handed the phone to the other member, the one I had been waiting for the most, he was grinning and bragging about being my favorite. I laughed and made sure the one I was now speaking to understood it was not the same type of affection and he assured me that he did, indeed, understand that I cared for him in a different way.

I answered all his medical questions, making sure he knew how my recovery was going and that I was actually being careful to follow all the doctor’s orders- including my weekly checkups to avoid infection. Once the boring stuff was handled, he made sure to ask how I was really doing, not physically, but mentally, since I had handled a LOT of things in a short amount of time. I sighed, knowing I could trust him, but not wanting to burden him with my thoughts, since he was still on tour and could not visit yet. He just listened to me and offered support, then always told me I could text him any time of day/night and he would answer whenever he had a chance- he always made an effort to check on me, and I appreciated it but worried I was wasting his time. He got upset when I said that and assured me that if he thought even for a second that I was a waste of time he would stop putting so much time and effort into communicating with me, which was exactly what I needed to hear, but still made me cry somehow. He leaned his head on the phone, pretending to be leaning on me, and whispered, “Sweetheart, I know you don’t always believe me, but I promise you that there’s nothing in this world I’d rather do than see and hear you every single day.”

I nodded, knowing it was true, but still struggling to be so far away, out of physical reach at the moment. Luckily, he was coming back to the US in just a week and had somehow arranged for me to fly over to stay with them for almost two weeks, but I did not know yet- he was waiting on one last doctor visit before he could confirm that I was, in fact, eligible to travel with my injured arm. Three days later I got good news- my arm was doing great and they were giving me a cast for two weeks with a sling, then I would be able to start physical therapy once it was removed. I was so excited I called him right away to celebrate!

Once he heard how things had gone, he told me the surprise- I was going to fly over to visit him (and the other members) just before their New Jersey concerts. I was so shocked I literally could not speak! He could tell I was overwhelmed, so he asked to see the cast, which I had chosen purple for, then started rambling on and on about how fun it would be to decorate it when I arrived. He also told me my family was aware of his plan, which also shocked me, since none of them had mentioned anything to me.

Before I knew it, I was arriving at the airport, the day before their concert, just standing near the baggage claim area, unsure of how to proceed with my one good arm. I had my backpack on, but was waiting for my suitcase to arrive on the carousel, which is when someone wearing all black, with a hat, sunglasses, and a mask approached me and said, “Excuse me ma’am, do you need some help?” I looked up and saw his wink, then knew I was safe, so once we had my suitcase, he held my good hand and pulled my suitcase as he led me out of the airport and into a waiting SUV. Once inside, he took off his items and grinned, helping me buckle and then leaning over to kiss my cheek, saying, “I have missed you so much it’s crazy!” I was suddenly shy, which he noticed, and commented, “I will never get tired of seeing that in person!”

He mostly talked the whole ride to their hotel, which was perfect because I was overwhelmed and needed to have a few moments to adjust to his affection. As soon as we parked, I didn’t even make it to the elevator when I was picked up and spun around- smothered in kisses and told random things excitedly. I knew it was the youngest member because only he would be able to get away with it, so I giggled and waited for him to put me down. When he did, he held my cheeks in his hands and exclaimed, “I need you in my face for a long time now to show you that I can be strong and safe with you!” I smiled, knowing his heart was pure and he truly did want to keep me safe. The other member then stepped in and said, “Ok, that’s enough. Let’s get her upstairs now, before anyone sees us or she gets hurt.”

He let go and grabbed my suitcase and backpack, allowing the other member to hold my right hand and carefully lead me through the lobby, then to the elevators. Once inside, he pulled me close, intending to hug me, but changed his mind when the bodyguard raised his eyebrows, letting me just bury my face in his shirt instead, which actually helped me calm down more. On the top floor, the doors opened and we all stepped out. Once inside their actual “room” (the entire top floor apartment), I kicked my shoes off and was immediately picked up and spun again, then a third time, without any warning at all. I waited patiently to be set down, then stumbled, now dizzy, but the other member was always nearby, so he easily caught me and guided me down the hallway into the living room, where the other three members were calmly waiting. I remembered them from before, so I smiled and waved- they came up one by one and gently patted my head or rubbed my back- never touching me for more than ten seconds at a time and always super carefully.

I was thankful for this, and for the member who always protected me from the youngest ones, who then led me over to one of the couches and helped me sit down. I instantly lay on my right side, needing to rest for a bit after being spun around, so he just knelt next to me and brushed some wild hairs away from my face, then kissed my cheek and disappeared for a second. When he returned, he had a cup of crushed ice and gently sat me up, so he was sitting on my right side, and began offering me ice pieces with a spoon. I was grateful for this distraction and was now able to have actual conversations with the others. Soon it was time for dinner, which I was not allowed to help with, so the youngest member came out to help cook, and I was left with one of the older members, who was extremely calm and brought peace whenever I sat with him.

He asked if he could add something to my cast, so I watched him use a black marker to begin doodling his name, which looked really detailed and I was impressed. The younger two members were also not helping with dinner, so they joined in the cast-decorating task and soon I had three amazing name designs on my left arm, with plenty of room for the other four eventually. During dinner I had to get help with the food, since I couldn’t cut anything up, and once I was full, I got super sleepy, so I started leaning on the youngest member, who had insisted on being near me at all times. He looked down, saw my sleepy eyes, and told the others he was going to help me go to sleep. I’m sure he was just trying to be helpful, but the other member, who was clearly done being polite, told him that it was actually going to be his job and he would not be letting anyone else be involved. I had no idea what he was saying, or I am sure I would have been embarrassed…

He helped me walk down the hall, then put on the plastic cover I had for my cast so I could shower, then once I was done and wearing my pjs, he came into the bathroom to help me brush my teeth. He came to stand behind me, now seeming even taller somehow, and kissed the top of my hair, then leaned down to whisper in my ear, “How is it that you are even cuter, and smell even better than I remember? Is it because we have been apart for so long?” I shrugged my shoulders, not really comprehending his question, which he noticed, so he helped me get the toothpaste on, brush, and walk out of the bathroom. Once I was at the bed, he pulled back the covers and lifted me onto it, careful not to hurt my arm, or put me too close to the edge, so he could climb in right next to me. Once he was laying on his back, I immediately rested my head on his shoulder, gripping his shirt with my fingers, barely poking out from my cast that was now placed gently on his chest, while his arm was around my back, keeping me safe. I was so tired I let him say whatever he wanted and within minutes I was asleep. He chuckled to himself, knowing it wasn’t the right time anyway, but absolutely wanting to tell me how much I meant to him.

I was so confused when I woke up, on my back now, both arms raised about my head, with the youngest member on my left side and the other one on my right- me being squished right in the middle. I looked at both their faces, so peaceful, the youngest one snoring, and debated how to get out of the cuddle sandwich when I heard a whisper from the bottom of the bed, “Do you need help getting out without waking them?” I sat up and saw who it was- the calm one from the night before- so I nodded and he carefully helped me scoot down with my right arm, then hop off the bed and cover them both back up. I hugged him and said thank you, which he didn’t mind, then he said he’d meet me in the kitchen for some tea and coffee. I used the bathroom and laughed when I saw my wild hair- oh well. When I got to the kitchen, he was there, waiting for me, with an empty mug and hot water waiting. I do not drink coffee, so he helped me get a black tea bag and add it to the water, then he guided me to the dining room to sit at the table. He had to carry my hot tea so I wouldn’t spill.

He wanted to know my intentions with the other member and although I was shocked at his boldness, I appreciated his ability to get right to the point without being embarrassed. Since I honestly did not know what the other member’s intentions were himself, I did not know exactly how to answer him, which he understood, but wanted to make clear that if I was just playing games, pretending to be attracted to him because they were famous, or planning to use him in any way, he was not going to let it happen. I quickly tried to show I was not that type of girl, never even caring about someone who was rich or famous- I care more about someone’s heart and how they treat others, which he accepted for the moment. I told him I was definitely not playing games and honestly wasn’t even sure how the other member felt about me for sure, but I was absolutely attracted to him romantically, if that’s what he felt as well. It was good to talk about it, since clearly he had been worrying for some time, having to witness our video calls and constant calls/texts. He leaned back in his chair when he felt satisfied with my responses, able to accept them for now, trusting my intent. Another member wandered out at that time, asked him what we had been talking about, then they clearly talked about my answers, and he was somehow also satisfied because he came to sit next to me with his coffee and patted my leg to show he agreed with the first member’s opinion of me.

After the same process repeated two more times, I was then sure that there would be no secrets in this family and I needed to be prepared to accept this if I truly cared for the other member. Once they were all awake, an older one told everyone the plan for the day, since they had a performance that night, while the member I cared about sat next to me, rubbing my back and squeezing my good hand while they talked. We needed to leave the hotel at 2pm to head to the stadium, since it was an hour away, so we had to eat and change into real clothes before then, giving us 3 hours. Some members started cooking, while the youngest came over to me and asked to carry me down the hall to his room so he could show me something. I looked at the member I liked, who was smiling and nodding, so I agreed and was then swept up into his strong arms and felt like I was floating down the hall. He gently set me down on the edge of his bed, then waited while another younger member arrived and sat next to me, after which they both pulled out pieces of paper and started singing what I assumed was a song they had written for me.

I did not know it at the time, but the member I liked (let’s call him my member for now) was eavesdropping right outside the room, trying not to laugh at the lyrics only he could understand. I waited for them both to be done, then they asked what I had thought… I struggled because I had no idea what they had actually just sang, but wanted to be polite, so I told them, “I can tell a lot of effort went into that song and I appreciate it so much! Let me hear it again when another member is here to translate for me and I will have a more honest opinion.” They must have loved my response because I was lifted into the air and spun around again, which was not good because I had an empty stomach and was therefore very lightheaded after the first rotation. After five or six turns, he set me down, not realizing that I could not stand, and I dropped to the floor the second he let go. It would have been fine if I had not landed on my left side, my poor arm taking the brunt of the fall, causing me to cry out in pain.

My member rushed in, not knowing what had happened, but concerned for my safety, while the other two explained their actions. I was unable to speak because it hurt so much, but the look in my eyes told them all I was not ok. The youngest one was now very upset again, breaking his promise to never hurt me again, while my member was more concerned about my actual arm because it was still healing. He picked me up and brought me to the living room, lay me gently on the couch, then called the medical staff, who arrived shortly. They used their portable x-ray machine to check if anything had been jolted out of place, but everything was ok, so they left and I was just lying there, unable to talk, wishing I could disappear into a black hole because I was so embarrassed to be needing so much attention once again.

My member could tell something was wrong, so he carefully lifted me and brought me back down the hall to one of the bedrooms, then put me on the bed, making sure not to touch my left arm in the process. After he was kneeling in front of me, he asked, “Are you going to be ok? I know that must have scared you and I’m sorry for not protecting you from their energy.” When he lifted my chin, he saw the silent tears on my cheeks and knew it was finally his time to prove his devotion. He gently changed positions so that he was sitting on my right side, both of us leaning on the pillows near the headboard, where he could easily comfort me and show how much he cared. I didn’t know how to answer yet, so he just rubbed my back, kissed my hair, and whispered, “I am sorry your morning had to start like this, but I am happy I am finally here to make you feel better in person. Video calls are not the same when someone is hurt. I love being near you and I love seeing your face close up and I love how you make me feel when we are together.”

I answered shakily, “I am sorry I always cause drama. Maybe you should give up and find someone else to like. I don’t think I’m worth your time anymore.” That was obviously the worst possible answer because he instantly tilted my face up to look right at him as he replied, “Don’t ever say such terrible things to me again. You don’t get to decide how I spend my time or what is worth it or not. And for your information, I cannot just find someone else to like because once I met you, nobody else existed anymore. You truly don’t know the power you hold over my heart and maybe it’s my fault for not telling you the truth from the beginning, but I’m saying it now. You are so important to me. I could never replace you. Please give me a chance to show what I cannot say.” I bit my lip and tried to find the right words to reply, but couldn’t, so ended up just staring at him, unsure of what he was thinking, but not for long because after a few seconds, he leaned his face down until his nose was touching mine and whispered, “How can you expect me to focus on anything when you look at me like that?” I did not understand, but felt my cheeks catch fire, and my lip popped out, which I guess was also not the best response because the next thing I know, he’s kissing me and I’m somehow not on this planet, but also not in outer space- I felt like I was caught in another realm, where reality was suspended and the impossible could happen, aka, my member kissing me like he’d been waiting his whole life for this moment and my heart feeling like I was going to explode from the happiness of that exact moment.

I swear I forgot how to breathe for a few seconds, so when he gently pulled back and said huskily, “I might not survive loving you if this happens every day.” I could only blink in response, which made him chuckle again and smother me in kisses all over my face, lips included.