I walked my little doggie every single day down a specific residential street, stopped at the exact same crosswalk every morning, waited for it to change, then continued to the walking path in the park, created by the city. I did this every morning, all summer long, since I was on summer vacation and wanted to take advantage of the time I had. I had no idea, but overlooking this corner was a balcony, where some guys were living, and one of them had noticed me in my colorful top, jamming and dancing at the crosswalk every morning, so he began watching and waiting for me. He found out the time was always between 7:30-7:45am and that the reason I was able to dance at the crosswalk was because the light changed so slowly, which he found amusing. After a week of watching me, he decided to “accidentally” be at the crosswalk at the same time to talk to me.

That day, a random weekday, I was at the crosswalk like usual, waiting for the walk signal to be green, without my little doggie for some reason, when a random guy suddenly crossed the street and waved at me. I looked around, but I was the only person on the sidewalk, so I cautiously waved back, still listening to my music and now looking super confused. He approached me, then smiled and said something- I realized he was speaking to me, so I paused my music on my phone and pulled down my headphone headband so I could hear him.

“Sorry- I had my music on. What did you say?” I asked, looking up into his friendly face. He turned shy all of a sudden and looked at the ground, then back at my face, then ran his hand through his hair, then looked at the sky, as he repeated, “I was wondering where you go every morning once you cross the street.” I laughed, which made him smile and look at me, as I answered, “There’s a walking path a few blocks down and I go there to clear my head, since I’m working on my mental health this summer to lower my anxiety and stress.” He nodded and asked, “Can I join you today?” I nodded, but looked at his outfit, slippers, random shorts and a very loose t-shirt, then said, “You might need better shoes though because I don’t walk slowly…”

He got embarrassed, then mentioned, “I live across the street, so could you wait while I run home to change and then I can join you? I will hurry!” I laughed again, just as the cross signal turned green, so we crossed together, and he motioned for me to follow him, which I did, to a door four spots down on the left, then he told me to wait for a minute and disappeared into the bright yellow door. I took this moment to stop and turn off the music, then put my headband into my backpack, and pop in a tic tac for good luck. My hair was wild, but there was nothing I could do about that, so it had to be ignored. Within two minutes he came back out the door, wearing sports shorts now, a better fitting T-shirt, and a pair of tennis shoes, smiling at me. I gave him a thumbs up and turned to walk to the park, him following.

Once we began talking and walking, he asked me a ton of questions, but I told him it was only fair if he answered mine as well, so we took turns, which is how I found out he had been watching me from the balcony all week and finally worked up the courage to come talk to me. I laughed so hard at this- I don’t consider myself intimidating, but he told me him and his brothers have never had any casual interactions with girls, so every female makes them nervous. Turns out, his name is Yoongi and he knows BTS, the famous kpop band from Korea, but his English was pretty good, so I had no issues understanding him. He did have some trouble when I spoke too quickly, so I had to force myself to slow down and stay calm for his sake.

After an hour, we were done, so we began the walk out of the park, and he invited me into his house for coffee. I told him I didn’t want coffee, since I don’t drink it, but I would join him for some water instead, which actually made him laugh this time. I asked if it would be weird for him to bring a girl into the house with his brothers there, but he assured me they would be super excited to meet me. I made sure Yoongi knew I was only being friendly, nothing more, and he was very sure he wanted to be my friend, nothing creepy, so we understood each other. When we got to his door, he opened it, took off his shoes, then turned to ask me to do the same, but my shoes were already off, so he asked how I had known- I told him it was respectful to remove my shoes before entering a house, which impressed him, but he did not tell me at the time.

He led me up the stairs, then told me I could hang my backpack on the coat hooks, so I did, then we turned the corner and immediately two younger guys ran towards us, slid on their knees, and shouted, “Yoongi! Marry me!” at the same time. I laughed so loudly because they were so ridiculous and because Yoongi got so embarrassed, it was cute. They jumped up quickly after seeing me, one of them hugged me, then told me his name was Jimin, so I smiled, then the other one grabbed me tightly and began spinning me around. I told him to put me down, then I realized he was not going to stop, so I asked him to please stop spinning me, but because I was so dizzy and very nauseous it came out like a whisper, as I held onto his neck and closed my eyes for dear life.

He did at least five or six turns before a deeper, strong voice told him to put me down, which he did immediately, but didn’t realize I was so dizzy, so the instant he let go, I slid right down onto the wood floor and would have hit my head if the older brother had not caught it first. The one who had been spinning me was now being lectured by the older brother, while Yoongi and Jimin were asking me if I was ok, but I was too dizzy to speak, so I just covered my eyes with my hands and lay as still as possible, trying to focus on breathing so I wouldn’t vomit in front of all of them. After about two minutes, the younger one said, “I am sorry for spinning you. I do like you. You are cute. I am sorry for my fault. My name JK.”

I could not answer yet, but I felt him rubbing my arm, so I knew he was sorry for being so wild, which was sweet. The older one who had saved me was kneeling by my head and asked calmly, “Are you dizzy?” I nodded, so he continued, “Would you like to stay on the floor until you feel better?” I nodded again, so he sat crisscross then gently moved my head to rest on his legs, off the floor, which actually helped me focus on that instead of being so dizzy. I moved my hands from my eyes, but did not open them, so JK grabbed one hand and Yoongi grabbed the other, then they started rubbing them, looking at my fingers, checking my hands vs theirs (apparently my hands were small and cute), all while I just lay perfectly still on the floor. The older one continued asking me questions to distract me, which helped, so I was thankful.

When I was sure I would not throw up, I opened my eyes and saw his worried but kind face peeking down at me, then he smiled and said, “Hello, my name is Joon, and I am sorry this is how we had to meet. Are you feeling well enough to sit up?” I shook my head, and he saw how pale I still was, so didn’t pressure me- he just stared into my eyes as I tried to focus on one thing at a time, “Joon, do you have a twin?”  I asked, frowning up at him. He shook his head, then replied, “No, why?” I rolled my eyes, then focused back on his face, clearly having trouble with my vision, before I weakly told him, “I see two of your faces looking down at me right now.” He frowned and clenched his jaw, clearly upset and worried, before he said something to the others in Korean that he clearly did not want me to hear.

I took a deep breath and said, “This is not how I saw my morning going at all. I hope you guys aren’t mad at me for interrupting your peace.” Then I got tears in my eyes as I searched for Yoongi’s face, who saw my worries and gently touched my cheek before he said, “Zoey, you didn’t interrupt us at all. I was the one who bothered your peace and brought you here. You bring happiness everywhere you go!” I looked at Yoongi, Jimin, and JK’s faces, then back at Joon’s face, seeing them smile back at me, so I was not as worried anymore. After a couple more minutes, I felt like I could sit up, so I told Joon, “I think I’ll be ok to sit up if you help me. But definitely don’t try to stand me up-I will fall right back down.” He nodded, then hooked his arms under my armpits from behind and lifted me, my head falling backwards and my arms hanging like noodles as he did so. He moved his legs on either side of mine, then pulled me back, wrapping his arms around my torso, until I was leaning on his chest, fully supported by his arms, my head resting on his neck and shoulders, my arms hanging down at my sides still.

“Joon, why is the floor tilting sideways?” I asked, barely above a whisper, which caused JK and Jimin to bust out laughing, but Yoongi frowned and reprimanded them, which Joon echoed, also not finding it funny that I was still super dizzy. They stopped immediately and apologized, but I had no idea because it had all been in Korean. “Sweetheart, nothing is tilting I promise you. I am holding you safely nice and still, so you won’t have to worry about falling over or spinning anymore.” I sighed and replied, “Oh thank goodness you are strong enough to keep the floor from tilting sideways. I am lucky you are here to save me with Yoongi. How can you guys be so amazing and save the house from moving?” I was serious, but both of them looked at each other, then hid their giggles because I was actually super funny, but they didn’t want me to know they were laughing at me.

After about five minutes, I was able to sit on my own, so Joon suggested we move to the couch, which was a few feet away, so I told him OK, then he moved, assuming I would sit up and get myself up to move… I did not, however, and as soon as he was gone, I fell backwards, but this time JK caught me in time, and once he saw how pale I still was, realized I could not walk on my own. He solved the problem by picking me up and carrying me to the couch, where he laid me down, which I did not understand because when he moved me, I because super dizzy and nauseous again. Yoongi saw my face, Joon saw my eyes, and both knew I was not any better than before yet. I covered my eyes with my hands again and pulled my legs up towards my body, which all of them thought was adorable, but also made them very concerned because they didn’t know how to help me anymore.

Yoongi searched on his phone and suggested they try giving me ice cubes to help me focus on what was actually happening vs what my brain was imagining. Joon sat down by my head and gently lifted my head onto his leg, then smoothed some hairs away from my face and said, “We are going to give you some ice to help you understand that nothing is moving or spinning anymore, ok?” I nodded, then felt Yoongi lift up my legs to start rubbing my feet, which also sparked a conversation, in Korean, about how small they were compared to theirs, which was also adorable to them apparently.

Jimin got some ice cubes, but they were huge, so he broke them into smaller pieces and brought a bowl over to me, knelt down in front of me, and touched one to my lips so I would open my mouth, which I did. JK knelt down in front of me as well, and laid his head on my leg, near my hip, telling me he was sorry for making me so sick and he wouldn’t do it again. After the fourth or fifth ice cube piece I actually was able to open my eyes, which made them all smile, so I moved my left arm away from my face and JK grabbed it, while Joon gently started rubbing my right hand with his, since I was still resting on his lap on my side. Slowly, after about half an hour, I was not dizzy anymore and told them I wanted to try sitting up, but this time I would just prop myself up. They all gave me some space, so I was able to sit up by myself, then look around, finally seeing things upright and I was so happy I smiled, then looked at each of their happy faces, to see their happiness reflected back to me. I leaned on Joon’s shoulder still, so he held my right hand in his, secretly happy that he didn’t need to let go yet, while Yoongi sat on my other side, holding my other hand.

JK and Jimin got floor pillows and came to sit right in front of me, playing with my feet still. I looked at Yoongi and teased, “Yoongi, next time you meet someone you trust, you might want to tell the whole truth- you don’t just know who BTS is- you are actually part of BTS…” He laughed and blushed, then replied, “I didn’t want you to run away because of who I am or who we are. Most people can’t treat us normally once they find out.” I laughed with the other three members, who also didn’t know Yoongi hadn’t told me the whole truth. Joon then asked, “Since you’re feeling better now, can you please tell us what makes you dizzy, so we don’t repeat this experience again?” He looked at JK, raised his eyebrows, then laughed, while I squeezed his hand and said, “Don’t be mad at JK- how could he know that spinning me around a million times would make me super dizzy?” They all laughed at me, then waited for me to answer Joon.

“Well, I guess the first reason would be dehydration, then overheating, and then lack of nutrition. If someone doesn’t have enough water, or food, or if they are in the sun for too long, it would make them dizzy,” I commented. JK added, “Plus the spinning by me. Sorry about that.” I rubbed my foot on his leg to show I wasn’t upset, and he hugged my leg, so I figured we were good. Joon asked if those were the only reasons I might get dizzy, but I hesitated before I answered, saying, “Well, there is another reason, but I’m not sure how honest you want me to be. Do you want me to explain everything, or would you rather not know what doesn’t matter right now?” Joon was upset and replied, “Anything that involves you means we need to know, so please be honest. How can we help you in the future if we don’t know how?”

I sighed then said, “Ok, well I guess since you are planning to stay friends with me forever, I may as well help you, since you guys will have girlfriends at some point anyway.” All four of them were super confused now, having no idea what I was talking about, so I was thankful I had met them- they were truly clueless when it came to females. “Ok, so another reason girls might be dizzy would be our monthly periods, since we lose a lot of blood and that makes our iron low, which causes dizziness and nausea during that time.” None of them spoke, so I thought they were mad, but when I looked at Yoongi, he was full on staring back at me, shocked, JK and Jimin looked just as equally shocked as confused, both frowning, then I tilted my head up to look at Joon, who was staring back at me with a different look, not shock or confusion, but awe and admiration, which I thought was odd at the time (I should have known he was attracted to me right then and there).

I looked back down at my lap, afraid to say anything else, worried they would not want to be friends anymore, when Joon spoke, “Zoey, we are so lucky to have you to teach us these things. We have never been able to form friendships with females before, due to our popularity, so your knowledge will be invaluable to us. Please don’t be worried about our reactions, we genuinely appreciate your honesty and need all the help we can get, clearly. Also, please don’t be embarrassed by our questions- we don’t mean to be rude, we just don’t know.” I smiled back up at him and took a deep breath, happy that I hadn’t said anything to make them upset with me. Instantly, Yoongi, JK, and Jimin began rapidly speaking to Joon in Korean, clearly asking him a million questions, to which he laughed in response and told me, “These three are asking me a ton of questions about girls and I don’t know how to explain, so could you help me out? I will translate if you are willing to answer them…” I shrugged my shoulders and said, “Well, I guess I’ve already fainted in front of BTS and had to literally lay on the floor near you guys, so there’s no point in getting any more embarrassed today, so sure, why not? Let’s just do it. I can’t promise to know everything, but since I am a girl, I should be able to help them a little!” Then I laughed and looked up at Joon, who was smiling back at me, with that sweet look again, but I didn’t recognize it as affection yet.

Joon started, “Yoongi wants to know which reasons caused you to faint today. He is worried about your health.” I turned to smile at Yoongi and squeezed the hand he was holding, then answered, “Yoongi, I was just dehydrated and shouldn’t have been spun around because I also didn’t have breakfast- I don’t usually eat until after I’m done walking otherwise it makes me feel sick.” Yoongi leaned towards me and whispered, “What about the other reason? Is that today?” I almost fell off the couch from laughing at the way he asked me- then I responded, “No, Yoongi, that is not today. You don’t need to worry about me right now.” He was so red from asking such a personal question, but when Joon translated it for JK and Jimin they covered their faces as well- apparently that topic was very embarrassing for all of them- I guess it’s not really talked about in Korea. Joon was also blushing, but not nearly as much- he was more impressed with my honesty.

JK wanted to know how I know it will happen, like do I get a warning, or does it happen at a specific time, then Jimin wanted to know all the symptoms, and Yoongi wanted to know how he could help me, then Joon was so busy translating he forgot to enjoy my laughter at their genuinely innocent questions. I answered everything as accurately and honestly as I could but left out anything I didn’t think they needed to know about me specifically, since they wouldn’t be dealing with me when they had girlfriends- they would have someone else. I did give them the overview though, so they wouldn’t be super surprised when it happened. After about an hour, they ran out of questions thankfully, because I was overwhelmed and Joon could tell I was getting anxious because I had started rubbing my fingers together and trying to play with the hem of his shirt to distract myself. I like attention, but this was personal attention, and he could tell it was becoming too much for me to handle.

He realized I had mentioned not eating breakfast, so he told everyone it was time for food, which they would share with me, so the other three jumped up and ran to the kitchen, apparently wanting to impress me. I looked up at Joon, whispered, “Thank you for distracting them, I was getting overwhelmed and feeling self-conscious.” He smoothed a few hairs away from my face, then replied, “I know, I could tell. Sometimes nonverbal words are more powerful than actual words that are spoken.” I nodded, then smiled and asked if he could show me where the bathroom was. He stood up and helped me stand, then caught me when I wobbled and waited for me to regain my balance before taking my arm and leading me down the hallway slowly.

I used the bathroom and washed my hands, then opened the door and forgot which way I should turn, so I went right, which was not correct, but I saw a fuzzy rug on the floor, which looked super comfy, so I went right into the room and fell onto the rug, happily resting on it, not even noticing that Joon was across the room, watching me, since he had also used the bathroom at the same time. He waited a few seconds before silently walking over to me, then he carefully lay down right in front of me, saying, “You are a mystery to me, that’s for sure. Why did you decide to lay down in here?” I looked at him, smiled, then answered, “I took a wrong turn, then saw this rug and wanted to just rest for a second to recharge my social battery. Being the center of attention makes me super tired and sometimes I need to be alone to recharge.” He nodded, then asked, “Should I leave then?” I shook my head and said, “No, you are fine Joon. You make me feel safe, so I like being near you.” He smiled and touched my cheek, then reached out to hold one of my hands I had curled under my chin.

I only stayed there for about ten minutes, then we heard the three yelling for Joon in the kitchen, and he helped me sit up, then wait, then stand. I wrapped my arms around him and said thank you for all his help, resting my head on his chest, since he was so tall. He returned the hug and held me tight, smelling my hair and sighing- he was definitely falling for me and had no idea how to tell me. He led me to the kitchen, making sure I was safely seated at the table before he asked what they needed. Joon is not allowed in the kitchen because he’s always accidentally destroying things, so he set the table and then helped carry food over but was never allowed to actually prepare anything.

When the others were ready, they all joined me, JK and Jimin arguing over who got to sit next to me, which they eventually won, so as Joon explained what each food item was, JK and Jimin started putting random things in front of me, telling me to try. I picked up the chopsticks and tried the first bite, which immediately caused all four of them to exclaim in Korean, so I dropped the chopsticks and covered my face, thinking I had done something wrong. Yoongi saw the tears in my eyes, so he quickly said, “Zoey, no, we are not mad! You can use chopsticks and that is surprise us. Most foreigners cannot use chopsticks, and we are happy you can because we love you a lot. Please don’t cry from our loudness.”

I nodded, then picked up my discarded chopsticks, looking at each of their faces to make sure they weren’t really angry. They were all smiling, so I was reassured and continued enjoying breakfast with them. Once we had eaten, I offered to help clear the table, but nobody would let me help, so I just sat quietly, watching them cooperate with each other, taking turns, and being so kind it made me smile to myself. Yoongi was the first to come back over to me and sit, then he said, “How are you feeling now? I am sorry for earlier- I didn’t mean to overwhelm you. I genuinely want to help you and learn more about girls so I can be the best boyfriend one day.” I nodded and replied, “I know Yoongi, I know. I wasn’t upset about your questions- I will always answer honestly. It was just a lot of attention focused on me, which I don’t really like. Does that make sense?” He patted my leg and said he understood- he was the same way.

Joon looked over from the kitchen and saw the way I was being so kind and gentle with Yoongi, which only made him like me more, but he still hadn’t found a way to tell me yet. JK and Jimin came running over and started exclaiming excitedly, which scared me, so I jumped and put my hand on my heart to show them I was startled, which they didn’t expect and froze, unsure how to proceed. Joon came over then and said, “Why don’t we invite Zoey to come listen to some of our song ideas, since she’s honest and probably would tell us her thoughts.” JK and Jimin spoke rapidly in Korean and ran down the stairs- apparently the music recording room was the basement, where it was easier to soundproof without windows, so they didn’t bother the neighbors late at night. Yoongi stood, then offered me his arm, which I happily accepted, then I carefully followed him to the top of the stairs but froze when I was on the first step. He looked at me, saw the panic on my face, and asked what was wrong. “I know it seems unbelievable, but the stairs literally look like they are moving like an escalator right now. I swear I’m not crazy.” I sat down on the top step quickly and leaned my head on the wall, below the handrail, suddenly very pale and unable to continue.

Yoongi did not know how to help me, so he looked at Joon, who had been right behind me, and waited for him to speak. “I think it would be easiest if we carry you downstairs this time Zoey, since your dizziness hasn’t passed yet. Don’t worry, we are very strong.” He calmly told me, looking into my worried eyes. I shook my head, super embarrassed that I could not be independent, which he saw and replied, “Actually, I think you are right. You should just stay up here because the songs we have been writing aren’t that good anyway and you won’t want to hear them.” He then winked at me and took several steps before I stopped him.

“OK Joon, you win. I actually do need help please. Just promise me you will let me repay the kindness one day.” He nodded and held out his pinky for me to shake with mine, which I did, making us both smile. He turned around, told me to hold onto his neck, while he grabbed my legs with his arms and lifted me onto his back. He carefully brought me downstairs, then gently set me down on one of the couches in their giant studio. It had two separate recording areas, then one main room where all the sound boards were and several guitars resting about. I was just looking around, my eyes big with shock, when Yoongi pointed to his area, the sound boards, since he produces all of their songs. I hugged him when he came over because I knew he was worried and told him I was proud of his ability to be so amazing while still remaining so kind to strangers like me. He blushed, but smiled, so I know he accepted my compliment.

JK and Jimin went into one of the recording rooms and told Yoongi to play something they had been working on, a specific song, so they could sing it for me apparently. Joon sat next to me, ready to translate, since the song they wanted to sing was still in Korean. I asked if they were planning to make some in English and Joon said yes, they just needed to work on their English words and wait for the other three members to arrive to finish the vocals. I offered to help them learn English, which made Joon smile, so I felt good about finding one small way I could repay their kindness. Joon soon got up and joined Jimin and JK in the sound booth, rapping his parts and before they knew it, two hours had passed. I had heard the song they wanted, it sounded really good, but then the started working on other songs, a new one they just didn’t know how to start apparently, so I got bored and since it was still early and I wasn’t totally feeling better yet, I actually ended up falling asleep on the couch, which none of them noticed because they had been so focused on their music.

Yoongi was the first one to see me asleep, as he turned around to ask me how the song should start, since it was a love song about a girl, saw me sleeping, all curled up in a ball again, then motioned for the other guys to notice me. They all quietly ran out of the recording room and huddled around me, just watching, while I slept silently, having no idea I was being watched by four famous guys. After a minute or two, Joon ran upstairs to grab a throw blanket they had and brought it down for me, then gently placed it on top of me, causing my eyelids to flutter and me to mutter something in my sleep. All of them thought this was adorable and took turns kissing my cheek, whispering sweet things to me. Again, I had no idea this was happening, so I could not stop them, or be embarrassed.

Once they got over my cuteness, they went back to recording, deciding to change the song a bit, making it about me, since I was literally sleeping right in front of them, giving them inspiration about an actual girl this time. They rewrote a few of the lyrics and began singing them again, all agreeing it sounded much better this time, since they had experienced what they were singing about. I woke up a little while later, stretched, then looked around, not remembering where I was or how I got there. I looked over to see Yoongi focused on his buttons and controls, then saw the other three singing so beautifully, and remembered I was literally hanging out with BTS. I took a deep breath and slowly sat up, making sure to not make myself dizzy again- I had embarrassed myself enough for one day. None of them noticed me, so I quietly snuck upstairs to use the bathroom again and then saw a blank drawing tablet with some colored pencils next to the rug I had been admiring earlier.

I flipped through it to see if there were enough blank pages, which there were, so I folded the cover back and opened to a new page, then lay down on the soft rug and began doodling absentmindedly. I guess I doodled for longer than I thought because the next thing I knew, the four of them were staring at me, listening to me hum their new song, while I drew their names with flowers, hearts, stars, and other cute designs around them. I started with each name, then added details I thought showed their personalities, like stars for JK, hearts for Yoongi, and different flowers for Jimin and Joon. I did not see them in the doorway, so I continued to draw/color as Yoongi slowly knelt down next to me and rubbed my back, then said, “Wow, you are very creative Zoey. How did you do all this?” I looked up at him, surprise all over my face, then saw the other three and felt my cheeks catch fire, which they all began commenting on, so I put my head down and hid my face. Joon knelt down on my other side, also rubbed my back, and said, “We didn’t mean to embarrass you. We just wanted to tell you we think you are talented.”

I looked shyly back up at him, biting my bottom lip, which I guess was not the right thing to do because when JK and Jimin saw my face, they literally started exclaiming, “Ah! So cute! We can kiss her if she looks so cute?! How does her face look so adorable right now!” I was so focused on listening to their words to understand what they were talking about that I didn’t realize how close to me they had gotten and if Joon had not pulled me up into his arms, both JK and Jimin would have kissed me. I was now sitting directly in front of Joon, basically in his lap, his arms wrapped tightly around me, me now looking super surprised and confused, shifting from JK to Jimin, wondering what was going on, when Yoongi explained, “They were trying to kiss you, so Joon had to move you away. We are sorry. They are the youngest members and often act on their impulses instead of thinking things through.” I changed my face to shock, my mouth a complete circle, which made Yoongi laugh, as he described it to Joon, who could not see because he was still behind me.

Jimin and JK leaned closer to me and tried pinching my cheeks with their hands, but Yoongi blocked them, since Joon was still holding me away from them. “I am not kissing anyone today, since we just met. Sorry guys,” I quickly said, looking right at JK and Jimin. They pretended to be sad but then kissed my hands and seemed to be ok with the skin they were allowed to touch. Joon sent them away for something, or maybe just told them to leave me alone, I wasn’t sure which because it was in Korean, then gently set me down on the carpet and sat next to me, across from Yoongi and picked up the tablet. He looked at the drawings, then said, “You are actually very creative. I wonder if you might be able to help us design the album illustrations for where the lyrics are printed. I bet you could easily do something like that.” I looked at his confident face, smiling at me, then shrugged my shoulders, unsure of myself for the moment.

I had just been having fun, not really trying to make something special, so how in the world could it be good enough for an album insert? He seemed to read my mind and continued, “I know you were just doodling for fun, but I think your drawings are amazing and really special, so they can be good enough for the world to see.” I looked into his eyes in shock- how had he known what I was thinking? He saw my face and laughed, then Yoongi saw it too and said, “I think the same thing- how can Joon read my mind? Zoey, he is very observant and sees what others do not because he takes the time to really watch and learn, not just see what we project or want others to see. He cares deeply and has a big heart for people like you and me that take our time expressing our feelings for others.” I smiled at Yoongi, loving how he knew exactly what I was feeling, then reached out to squeeze his hand, which he accepted, and when Joon saw that he just knew in his heart I was meant to be a part of their lives.

Yoongi said something quietly to Joon in Korean, then left to find the other two guys for something, leaving me alone with Joon. I turned to look at him, now seeing his frown, and asked, “Joon, have I done something wrong?” He quickly replied, “No, don’t worry, it’s nothing that concerns you.” I looked right into his eyes and said, “I know Yoongi told you something, so you better just tell me right now before I find out from him. I deserve to know what he said- since it was clearly about me anyway. Just because you are all famous and handsome, does not mean you get to break all the rules anytime you want.” He laughed at my spiciness, then gently held one of my hands as he responded, “You think we are all handsome? You are right, that doesn’t mean we can do whatever we want. I just don’t want to tell you what Yoongi said so you won’t worry too much and just focus on being yourself around us, even after the other members arrive soon.”

I was now very concerned about what had been said about me, so I rotated to completely face Joon, my knees touching his, both my hands in his, me looking right into his face, as I told him, “Joon, I believe in honesty and will always be honest with you guys, no matter what you ask, but it’s not fair if you also don’t treat me with honesty in return. Please just tell me what Yoongi said and let me decide how to react, ok?” He sighed, then nodded and replied, “Yoongi said he was worried about us all getting too attached to you, specifically romantically attracted to you, since there are seven of us and only one of you, so he was concerned it might overwhelm you and cause your mental health to suffer, which he does not want.” I bit my bottom lip as I considered how to reply, which caused Joon to say, “For example, when you do that, it is very cute and attractive, which JK and Jimin both noticed earlier- that’s why they wanted to kiss you. Maybe Yoongi is right- we cannot burden you with our friendship because it might not be fair to you.”

I blinked and stared right back at Joon, now completely frozen, having absolutely no idea how to respond without sounding ridiculous. He stared right back at me, focused on my facial expressions, watching me to see how I was reacting- first shock, then embarrassment, then sadness, then defiance, then something he didn’t recognize until I answered quietly, “Joon, I think you are both worried about nothing. First of all, I am just one girl and since there are seven of you, I think it would make more sense if everyone treated me like a sister and made it fair for everyone else. Next, I have no special talents, so it doesn’t make sense for any of you guys to like me as more than a friend. Finally, I would never risk the group’s well-being for my own selfish desires, so you don’t need to worry about me acting on any feelings I may or may not catch- I won’t allow myself.”

There were tears in my eyes when I finished speaking, which is when he saw how deeply committed I was to putting their feelings above my own for the sake of the band and what made him realize right then and there that I had completely stolen his heart in one day, without any warning at all. He looked into my stormy eyes, saw the silent tears sliding down my cheeks and just knew he was gone-there was no turning back for him now, even after I had just made my grand speech about being just a friend and sister. He reached his hands up and wiped my tears, then held my cheeks in his hands as he said, “I appreciate your words and understand your perspective- you truly do have a pure heart and want to protect us. This is the most admirable quality you could show us, and you have done so without any expectation of reward or compensation of any kind. You just want us to be happy. How can I express what I feel when I hear your words?” I blinked and looked into his eyes but couldn’t see the way he was silently confessing his love- I was in denial that anyone could ever care for me again and truly thought I had no chance at love for the rest of my life.

He pulled me onto my knees and wrapped me in a hug, me leaning on his shoulder/chest and holding the back of his shirt with my hands, gripping tightly, but also trusting him completely. He had never been hugged like that before, so at first he was scared, but then realized it was because I trusted him and felt safe, so he just continued to hold me tightly for a few more minutes, until I leaned back and said, “Joon, I think you have the kindest heart of anyone I have ever met and I hope you give me a chance to repay you for everything you have done for me today. I want to show you how much I appreciate you.” My wet cheeks were inches from his, he could feel my breath on his face, yet he did not kiss me because he knew it would create chaos in a world where I was not ready for such an action. Instead, he wiped my remaining tears away, then leaned his forehead on mine and whispered, “Zoey, you don’t owe me anything, but everything you give me or do for me in the future will be further proof of how amazing you already are.” I blushed, but smiled shyly, proving he had made the right choice not to kiss me just yet.

He gathered the coloring supplies, and I helped put them back into the pouch they had come from, then I picked up the tablet and went to close it, but Joon wanted to flip through the designs again, so I handed it to him and said I was going to find Yoongi. Joon sat on the edge of the bed, flipping through the pages, finding Yoongi’s name, Jimin’s name, JK’s name, and finally his name. They all looked similar, in the fact that the name was the focal point while the designs were the backgrounds. Then he caught something in the corner of his eye, something all the way at the back, so he turned to see what was hidden and found a different design for his name, but this time, it wasn’t just his name- it was my name with his, surrounded by vines weaving together, meeting with hearts in the middle. He was so surprised he didn’t know what to think at first, then realized maybe subconsciously I already liked him too, so perhaps confessing his love for me wouldn’t be that crazy after all? He didn’t want anyone to see the extra design, so he ripped that page out and hid it in a pocket in one of his suitcases, saving it for later.

I stayed for the rest of the afternoon, then I needed to get home to walk and feed my little doggie, so Yoongi walked me downstairs and to the crosswalk, then to my apartment a few blocks away. Once Yoongi told them how close I lived, they were super excited because it meant I could come over quickly, whenever they wanted me to, or so they thought. The next morning, I was walking my little doggie the same exact way, this time with her for sure, when I got to the crosswalk and found Yoongi waiting for me. I smiled and laughed- I should have expected him to join me after yesterday, but it was still a happy surprise. I didn’t know, but Joon was watching from the balcony and loved seeing how excited I was to see Yoongi, since he’s very shy and often gets overshadowed by the louder, younger members at events they have to attend. He knew I was a very special person because I paid attention to Yoongi and made sure he felt special before I cared about the others. Joon watched us happily cross the street and continue on the walk- happy that I had found a friend and wondering how he was going to tell me how attracted he was to me…

Yoongi loves animals, so he had no problem liking my little doggie, but she is afraid of everything, so she wasn’t sure at first. We walked our usual four laps, while Yoongi talked about how great my visit had been, how inspiring I had been, and how much they already wanted to see me again, which made me laugh. Yoongi also mentioned that Joon was very fond of me, beyond friendship, but I told Yoongi the same thing I had told Joon- I would not risk their group’s reputation just for a chance at romance- the group had to come first and that was my final decision. Yoongi didn’t disagree, but he did say that sometimes love arrives unexpectedly and you can’t ignore it, then I argued that I definitely could, which made him laugh this time. We argued for a while about love and how to avoid it, which he found highly amusing.

When we finished walking, I gave my little doggie her water, then we continued on the path until we were on the sidewalk headed home. Yoongi asked if he could come to my house this time, since I had visited them yesterday, but I was nervous because I don’t have a model home- there are actual items inside and it looks lived in, which he laughed about and said he really wanted to see it and just relax with me. I asked if the other members would mind, but he assured me they would not- a few hours without him would not ruin their day, since the other three still weren’t here yet- they had to finish their own concerts and obligations first. I sighed and figured well, if anyone won’t judge me it’ll be Yoongi, so sure, let’s just get this over with. Turns out, Yoongi loved all my random decorations and actually motivated me to clean an area I had been avoiding- the dining room bench. He just chatted with me while I organized and sorted, then he helped me carry out the recycling bag I had filled and expressed his happiness that he had been able to encourage me enough to make the table and bench spotless. I smiled and hugged him- it was so nice to have a genuine friend who cared without judging and I told him how lucky I was to know him, which made him blush, but smile.

He then said how he had a moment of jealousy for Joon because I clearly did not think of Yoongi in a romantic way, but I denied liking Joon as anything more than a friend, since I was still not even admitting it to myself, let alone anyone else. Yoongi just smiled and gave me a wink, not willing to give up so easily, so I laughed and said he better keep his comments to himself if he wanted to keep hanging out with me! He held up his hands in surrender, then said he should get back to the guys, but he really enjoyed hanging out with me. I thanked him for his help- I often get overwhelmed with cleaning or organizing and can’t get started because I’m so afraid to mess it up. He said he was happy to help and offered to come over everyday to help me do something different, which was actually very kind, but I knew I shouldn’t be taking so much of his time away from the other members, so I said maybe if he could sneak away, I would let him come back once or twice.

He grinned, knowing he had won that battle and happily went on his merry way, directly back to the house with the other members. JK and Jimin were sad not to see me again, but they got over it quickly- I was just entertainment for them. Joon, however, listened very carefully to all the details Yoongi told him about me- he wanted to help me with my mental health as well, since he had his own struggles and knew how it felt to feel overwhelmed and frozen when faced with seemingly simple tasks.

The next morning, Yoongi was waiting for me, grinning again, ready to walk with me and now I was actually looking forward to our morning walks because he helped me process a lot of things I hadn’t been able to talk about with anyone else because he was genuinely just interested in helping me- he was not attracted to me in a romantic way and it made a huge difference in what I could share with him. He was telling Joon everything I said, but in such a way that I would approve of, if I ever found out. Yoongi wanted to come back with me to my house again, but I was worried about the other members getting angry. He promised they did not care, so I reluctantly agreed. He helped me again and I was feeling better afterwards, so I guess it was worth it. My little doggie had now accepted him and would let him pet her and rub her belly, so I was feeling better about that as well. Yoongi always left before lunch, which I understood because he wanted to go join his friends/brothers and eat their own specific food, but I needed a way to repay his kindness somehow.

The next morning, it was not Yoongi who was waiting for me, but Joon, so I was nervous and accidentally tripped and fell, so he had to catch me. It was a ridiculous scene from a k-drama, which Yoongi, Jimin, and JK were watching from the balcony, unbeknownst to either Joon or myself. He caught me before I hit the cement sidewalk, then made sure I was ok before taking my hand and leading me across the street in the crosswalk to make sure I could safely walk. I was so embarrassed I pulled my hand away the instant we reached the curb and assured him I didn’t need an escort for my morning walk if he didn’t have time- Yoongi joined me because he was usually the first one up and liked getting fresh air first thing.

Joon echoed that idea, which caused me to squint my eyes suspiciously and put my hands on my hips, which he found adorable and told me so. I was not happy about being called adorable, so I told him to leave me alone and go back home- I would walk alone. He laughed, then watched me huff off, quickly catching up to me with his long legs and telling me he just happened to be headed in the same direction, not anywhere near me, but somewhere close by. I gave up my attitude at this point, since being mad is exhausting for me, which he noticed and teased me about, but secretly liked me even more for it.

As we walked, he guided the conversation and slowly, I began to trust him and found talking to him easier and easier until we seemed like best friends. I hadn’t realized how long we had been walking until he said something about my little doggie looking tired and that’s when I realized it had actually been five laps that morning, not the usual four, so no wonder her little legs were tired! I gave her some water and picked her up to carry her home- she was so dead! He laughed, also not realizing how much time had passed- it felt like five minutes to him. He had been trying to listen to my words, but had been distracted by the way I smelled, changed my facial expressions so quickly, touched his arms/hands randomly, laughed, and just made him happy overall.

He wanted to come back to my place with me that morning, but couldn’t because I had a dentist appointment, so I said I would see them all the next morning. They already had my phone number and had all been texting me nonstop since we had first met, so I was not shocked that I had messages waiting for me when I checked after I got home. Yoongi wanted to know how it went with Joon, and I immediately asked if he had tried to set it up like a date, but he promised he hadn’t- he just didn’t feel well enough to walk, that’s why Joon had taken his place. I was now worried- apparently all three of the others had fevers and didn’t feel well, so on the way home from the dentist I stopped at the Asian market and asked the workers for suggestions on soups or foods that would help someone from Korea feel better and less homesick. They showed me lots of options, so I got some of everything, what I knew I could carry from my house to theirs, then I came home, did some laundry, made sure my little doggie was happy, and right after lunch I walked over with two bags.

I had texted Joon, so he knew I was coming and found him waiting on the porch, watching for me. He was nervous about letting me inside, but I promised to wear a mask, so I wouldn’t get sick, so he reluctantly agreed to let me in. He carried both heavy bags upstairs, then unloaded them onto the kitchen counter, impressed with the choices, knowing I had made a special effort to make them feel better. He was now even more sure I was the one his heart needed but couldn’t tell me yet. I had gone to see Jimin, then JK, and finally Yoongi, who was laying down in his bed, looking super sad, but he smiled when he saw me, so I was happy. I helped Joon get some food ready, him telling me what to do, me following his directions carefully so I wouldn’t ruin anything. I then carefully delivered meds and food to each guy separately, always wearing my mask, careful to wash my hands each time, just in case. I stayed for several hours, until it was time for me to go home to feed my little doggie her dinner.

Joon thanked me for my help and the meds/food, but I knew they needed it, so I was happy to bring it. I told him to text me if he needed more and I would bring it after my morning walk the next day. I went on my walk at the normal time, but this time nobody was there to greet me, which confirmed what I already knew- they were all four now sick. I hurried to get my four laps in, then brought my little doggie home and headed over to their house. Sure enough, Joon was also sick now and I did my best to give them all some attention, giving meds and food, with Joon helping me prepare it correctly. JK and Jimin were the least sick, so they were in the same room, just watching shows and making me laugh, while Joon and Yoongi were worse, staying apart and mostly sleeping. I stayed until it was my little doggie’s dinner time, then I left them for the night, hoping they would be ok. Around midnight, Yoongi sent me a text asking if I could come over because they needed help- none of them felt well enough to do the laundry and they had now used up all the clean bedding they had due to their stomach flu issues. I changed into appropriate clothing quickly, then headed over, forgetting my mask because I was in such a hurry. Joon was not well enough to remind me, so I was on my own. I stayed long enough to do three full loads and remake all their beds, which they were thankful for, but also still super sick and not really aware of what was happening in general. I also put the extra bedding I had found in one of the extra bedrooms on the kitchen counter, so they could find it easily.

I was super sleepy the next morning, but still did my morning walk, just not the full four laps. I got home with my little doggie and fed her breakfast, then fell asleep myself, having not had a full night’s sleep the night before. Yoongi sent me a thank you text and I was so tired I didn’t see it for several hours, but when I did respond I found out just Joon was sick now, so the other three were able to help him and they were very grateful for the yummy Korean foods I had brought. They asked for more of some specific items, so in the afternoon I went back to the Asian market, got the ones they wanted, then delivered them myself, not wearing a mask again, thinking I would be fine. Yoongi had opened all the windows, had all the dirty laundry waiting for me, and all of the three healthy guys had showered, so their clothes were being washed to get any remaining sick germs off.

Joon would not allow me to enter his room, even though I tried arguing, but I had to respect his wishes, so I just made sure he had food waiting outside his door and fresh clothing, towels, and bed sheets. I stayed for several hours, then I went back to my house, still feeling sleepy from the night before. I assumed I would get a better night’s sleep that night, so I was happily resting in bed until Yoongi messaged me again around midnight- Joon was very sick, and he was worried because he wouldn’t listen to any of them, but he thought he would listen to me, so could I please come over and try?

I sleepily threw on some clothes, walked over, got some meds ready, marched into Joon’s room, and politely demanded he take them. Joon was so shocked to see me, halfway dressed, wild hair and all, that he immediately took the meds and ate the tiny amount of food I handed him. I opened his window to let some fresh air in, made him get up so I could put fresh sheets on, sent him into the bathroom to shower and change pjs, all while half asleep myself. He obeyed mostly because he was so shocked to see me bossing him around, half delirious myself and partly because he was afraid to say no to me when I was in such a bossy mood.

Within half an hour he was clean and resting in his fresh bed, with all his laundry being washed. I waited until the laundry was ready for the dryer, then I switched it and came back to tell Joon he better not cause any more trouble for the other three or I would be back to boss him around again. He was so intimidated by me that even when he was sick he knew better than to argue with me, so he simply held out his hand and asked me to sit with him while he fell asleep, which I knew was a bad idea, but he was so pathetic looking and I felt so bad about him being sick and maybe a little bad that I had been so bossy to him that I agreed and went to sit next to him. Well, I was already exhausted, and once I took his hand in mine and sat on that nice soft bed, I could not resist sliding down and the next thing I knew it was morning, I was fully being cuddled by Joon, and the birds were chirping as the sun rose.

I blinked, not understanding where I was or who was hugging me so tight, but then I turned on my back and saw Joon and realized what had happened, so I quickly got up and snuck out the door before anyone could wake up- luckily, they are not early birds, so since it was not even 6 am, I made my getaway unnoticed. Phew! I made it back to my doggie, took her for a quick walk around our block, did not make it to the walking path that day, and once she had been fed, fell right asleep immediately. I did not hear my phone or know that anyone was trying to contact me for several hours, then I finally woke up and just knew I was in trouble- my head was pounding, and I was dizzy. I answered Yoongi’s messages, assuring him that I was just tired, so he didn’t need to worry, but he was more concerned about how upset Joon was- he was so afraid of giving me his germs that he was making Yoongi text every hour to see if I was ok. He felt super guilty about being so close to me last night but also had the best night’s sleep of his life, so was conflicted Yoongi said.

I would have laughed if my head didn’t hurt so much. Instead, I took meds and stayed in bed, which my little doggie was super happy about, since she loves sleeping and cuddling. The next morning, all four of the guys were watching for me on their balcony, having all recovered and feeling much better, but when I did not appear at my normal time, they knew something was wrong. Yoongi sent me a text, but I did not respond, so Joon made Yoongi show him where I lived and marched right over to see for himself why I would not answer. When they knocked on the door, I was barely able to make it to the door, and when I answered, they both took one look at me and knew they had made the right choice. I was super flushed, barely standing, clearly sick, and not even able to form complete sentences. Both of them had masks on, so they entered and guided me back to my bed, where I instantly lay down and did not move. Joon checked my temp with the thermometer, and it said 102 degrees, which concerned him greatly.

He made me tell him when I had taken meds last, which had been several hours ago, so he asked Yoongi where my meds were and he showed Joon the cabinet above the stove. Joon brought me the Tylenol and made me take it with water, even though I protested. Once I had done that, Joon lay down next to me and just held me while I slept, worried about me being alone with nobody to care for me. He told Yoongi he could go back to the others, but Yoongi was worried about my little doggie, so he stayed to care for her, since he knew her daily schedule. Four hours later I woke up, literally crying, saying how badly my head was pounding. I was also bright red and sweating, so Joon made me get into the shower while he got ibuprofen ready for me.

Once I was clean, now dressed in mismatched pjs, my wet hair wild, Joon had to take a deep breath because he thought I looked so beautiful he wanted to kiss me right then and there, but knew it was the wrong place and time. Instead, he helped me take the meds, then eat a quick applesauce pouch, drink some water, and then held me while I cried about being no good for anything, which he knew was just the fever affecting me. When I started to calm down though, I was barely able to keep my eyes open when I started talking about Joon as if he was not right next to me in the same room. Joon assumed I thought I was talking to Yoongi when I said, “I can’t like Joon in that way because it might hurt the other members and you know I would never risk that. Love doesn’t always win- sometimes it has to wait politely until the time is right. Can you please tell Joon to stop being so nice to me? Why does he have to be so handsome without even trying? How can I even fight my feelings when every time he looks at me, I feel like he’s reading my mind and seeing my soul? Can you make it stop?” Joon had to stop himself from laughing or reacting, since I clearly didn’t know it was him laying right next to me.

He waited until I was fully asleep, then he snuck out to check on my doggie and Yoongi, when he asked about what I had said- Yoongi confirmed I had been worried about those things for a while, and he hadn’t told me because I had made him promise not to. Joon shook his head in disbelief- how could someone so amazing as me like someone as clueless as him for just being himself and not care if he’s rich or famous? Yoongi confirmed that I do not care about those things- I only care how people treat others and animals- with kindness and honesty. Joon was still perplexed but had to set his feelings aside since I was too sick to even do basic things for myself. Yoongi ended up staying the night so he could cuddle my little doggie while Joon cuddled me. I woke up sobbing in the middle of the night, thinking something had happened to her, so Joon quickly got me calmed down, and when I realized it was Joon who was holding me and comforting me, I fully told him how much I liked him and how I didn’t want to mess up the band, but I didn’t want to lie to him anymore.

He made me take more meds, then cuddled me to sleep, knowing I wouldn’t remember anything I had told him, but it still made him happy to hear what I was really thinking and feeling. In the morning, Yoongi took my doggie out, then fed her breakfast and told Joon he was going to head home for a bit to change clothes and check on JK and Jimin, then he would be back if he wanted to then take a quick break he would sit with me. Joon thanked him and said that was a good plan, so Yoongi left. Joon stayed near me, just watching me sleep, hoping I was feeling better, but remaining anxious because my fever was still higher than it should be.

All morning, I slept and after a little while Joon was bored, so he decided to write me a letter explaining all the things he liked about me, since his words sometimes didn’t make sense. He found one of my random notebooks and flipped past some pages I had already written on, seeing his name on a couple and then having to decide what to do- betray my trust and read my private notes, or pretend he had never seen his name and wait for me to give him permission. He sighed, knowing he would always end up doing the right thing, since he wanted to earn and keep my trust. He found an empty page and began writing down reasons he liked me. When I woke a couple hours later, I was flushed again, so he helped me to the bathroom so I could shower, and he changed the bedding while I was gone. It took him several attempts, but he eventually figured out the washing machine and was proud of himself- he wasn’t good at chores usually. He had remade the bed by the time I stumbled out of the bathroom, my wet hair wild like usual, my pjs mismatched again, my eyes not focusing properly because of the fever still.

This time, he gave me fever meds and said I needed food, since it had been a long time since the applesauce, but since I was not hungry, I was super whiny about it, which he actually thought was adorable. He helped me stand up and held me in his arms, me barely standing, attempting to argue with my pouting lips and overly dramatic facial expressions, but he would not give up and I had to give in to his demands, so I ate a banana, and he was satisfied, so he allowed me to lay back down. I instantly complained of being cold, so he chuckled to himself, then lay right next to me, where I immediately cuddled right next to him, arm on his chest, head on his shoulder, leg wrapped around his. He sighed and kissed the top of my head, happy to be close to me, but also sad it was because I was sick.

He continued writing his letter until Yoongi returned in the afternoon, looking and feeling much better. Joon slipped out from under my grasp and promised to return soon- he just wanted to be fed and clean before he returned so he could help me better. Yoongi saw what Joon had been writing, since it was open on the bed and after reading it knew he had to do something about it- he was the monkey in the middle of two shy people who clearly cared about each other, but were both afraid of how the other would react and/or the other members would handle it. He put the notebook on my nightstand and was just cuddling my little doggie when I woke up and saw Yoongi this time. I was so happy! He talked to me and told me what had been going on, how Joon had not left my side since I had been sick and how worried he was because my fever was not going away. Yoongi listened as I assured him that it was just my body fighting the infection and that I would be fine soon, which he was glad about because the other three members would be arriving soon and they wanted them to meet me when I was healthy to see how awesome I was!

I instantly began panicking about meeting three new guys and Yoongi had to calm me down because I started crying again, something I normally wouldn’t do, but since I was sick everything seemed like a bigger deal than it actually was. He helped me take more meds, then wiped my tears and held my hand while I fell asleep, accidentally falling asleep himself, so when Joon returned, he found me asleep, holding Yoongi’s outstretched hand, while he was also asleep. It was super sweet and Joon took a moment to admire it before he went to check on the laundry, tossing the wet stuff into the dryer. A little while longer, he heard Yoongi waking up, so he went in and asked how I was doing- Yoongi said not much better, which worried Joon. My fever should have been gone by now, so this was not normal, but they didn’t have a car, so he didn’t know how they would get me to the doctor. Yoongi told him not to panic yet, since it was just a fever, but right after he said that I started having trouble breathing, so they decided to just call the ambulance and solve the problem. Once the EMTs came and carried me out, I was not conscious, so I didn’t argue. Yoongi stayed to take care of my doggie, while Joon went to the hospital with me.

Turns out, my fever had turned into pneumonia, and they did the right thing by calling the ambulance. I now had oxygen and an IV, which poor Joon could barely handle seeing- he hated the thought of me being in pain with no way for him to help me. I woke up several hours later, looked around, saw him, then frowned because nothing looked familiar. He quickly explained where I was and how I had gotten there- then said Yoongi was with my little doggie, so I didn’t need to worry about anything except getting better. I nodded, but was still worried about how they were feeling, so he assured me they were all fine now and wanted me to get better because the other three members were arriving soon and wanted to meet me. I started to panic, my blood pressure rising, the machines beeping out of control, so the nurse ran in, then Joon had to explain what happened and she told him not to say anything else that might upset me.

He felt terrible, but he desperately wanted me to be excited about meeting the other three guys, since he knew they would be super excited about meeting me. He ended up staying the night in my room, they brought him an extra bed to use, so when the doctor checked on me in the morning, Joon was still sleeping and I was awake, being bossy and cranky, wanting to leave as soon as possible. The doctor knew I would not listen if I was released, so he said I had to stay two more nights just to make sure I would take the meds and eat actual food, since that was part of the issue as well-lack of nutrition wasn’t helping my body get better or fight the infection. He had me start an inhaler, then put something in the IV that made me feel very dizzy, then suddenly break out in a rash all over my body. That was a moment of panic, as they scrambled for an epi pen, jabbed me, then had to removed that IV bag, get a new one, and make a note for my chart about that medicine allergy.

Poor Joon was woken up by all the commotion, so imagine his shock when he sees me crying out in pain, covered in angry red bumps, then sees them lift up the gown to jab my thigh with a needle, then I go limp as they assess the damage and replace the IV. He felt so helpless and hated watching me suffer but knew he could not do anything in that moment, so he had to wait until I was stable, not in pain anymore, before he could approach me. I was not feeling well again, the new meds made me loopy, but helped the rash disappear, so I wanted them, so when Joon came over to hold my hand I smiled and said, “Oh, a handsome man came to visit me. How can I become your girlfriend because you look like you need someone to give you kisses?” He laughed and blushed at the same time, the nurse in the room laughing as well, both of them knowing full well I was out of my mind and not thinking clearly. He gently lifted up my hand, kissed the top, and replied, “Well, I already like you, so I don’t think it will be that hard for you to convince me that I need your kisses, but unfortunately, we have to wait until you are out of the hospital and feeling better. I promise to make sure you have everything you need when you get to go home though.”

I gave a fake pout, and he traced my lips with his fingers, smiling at me and saying, “You are super cute when you are delirious and I’m sad you won’t remember this when you are better because I think it would make you laugh to see and hear yourself.” I blinked at him, not even hearing what he said, then I whispered, “Wait- are you here to spy on me?” I looked so serious he absolutely tried to keep a straight face, but failed miserably when the nurse couldn’t hold back her laughter and Joon had to join in. I continued to talk randomly for over an hour before I finally fell asleep and gave Joon a break- he was dying from laughing so much. Yoongi called to check on me and said he was doing fine caring for my little doggie, in case I asked, which I had. Joon said I would be released in two days, so Yoongi said he could continue to check on my doggie during that time and asked how Joon was doing. He didn’t want to admit it, but he needed to go home to shower and eat, but didn’t want to leave me alone, so Yoongi said he would come visit me and trade shifts for a while if he wanted.

Joon took an uber to their house, showered, ate, got some actual good sleep, and ate again. Once he felt well rested, he was ready to return to the hospital to see me. Yoongi had gone over for the afternoon/evening, then returned to my place to check on my little doggie. Joon ended up going back in the morning, since visiting hours ended at 8 pm and he had been asleep at that time, which he desperately needed. He arrived right at 9am and found me sitting up in bed, chatting to a nurse while she did something with the needle in my hand. My face lit up when Joon entered the room, which made his heart pound so loudly he thought for sure the whole hallway had heard it. The nurse chuckled to herself, noticing how much we liked each other, then finished her task and left us to be alone.

Joon had brought his written pages, hoping he could get the courage to read them to me, or at least let me read them, but he wasn’t brave enough yet. He told me that I looked cute, even in a horrible hospital gown, which made me blush, but he needed to say it- he didn’t want me thinking he was just a friend any longer. We chatted about Yoongi and my little doggie, which I was so excited to see the next morning when I was released, and how I was actually a mix of excited and nervous to meet the other members in a few days. Joon assured me they would like me instantly once they met me, but I was not so sure.

He watched me take my inhaler like a pro when it was time, so he knew I would be fine on my own the next day, and the days after. When I became sleepy, he sat next to me, so I could lean on his shoulder, which I enjoyed and told him so, as he gently held my hand and rubbed my fingers. He carefully took out the folded paper from his pocket and asked if he could read me something, which I agreed to, then he started reading what he had written, but didn’t realize I had fallen asleep already until he looked down to see my reaction and found my eyes closed, my breath slow and steady, my cheeks nice and rosy. He sighed, folded the papers back up, and hid them in his jacket pocket again.

A nurse came around the corner a few minutes later, tears in her eyes, saying she had heard his reading and couldn’t believe how heartfelt and romantic it was and that I would be a fool to ignore him after I heard it. He was super embarrassed and made her promise not to tell me anything she had overheard, but the nurse said she wouldn’t say anything because it wasn’t her story to tell anyway-she was just an observer. I slept for a few hours, then the nurse had to wake me up to try to get me to eat. I was still having issues eating, since my appetite was gone- I couldn’t smell or taste anything and when I could, I coughed so much I threw up, so I was afraid to eat actual food anymore. When I refused again, she got another IV bag and replaced it with one that had nutrients inside but said the doctor would not be happy and might delay my release the next day if I couldn’t prove I was well enough to go home- that included eating real food.

I burst into tears, looking right at Joon, who felt like I had ripped his heart from his chest and stomped on it- he was powerless against my tears and did his best to comfort me, but he also agreed with the doctor that I should be eating real food by now in order to get better. Joon asked if he could maybe feed me, so that I could get the nutrients I needed, but I was still too afraid, so I refused and continued crying. He did not know what to do, since this situation had ever occurred to him before, so he just comforted me and tried to think of solutions. Finally, when I had calmed down a little, he asked if he could read me something he had written, which I agreed to, thinking it was a new song, so I looked up at him with my wet cheeks and gave him a half smile, which stopped his heart and made him forget how to breathe for a second. I just blinked at him, while he stared back at me, frozen by my gaze, so trusting and loving at the same time. He finally broke through his trance and reached for the paper in his pocket, telling me he had written a few things down and he wanted my opinion on them.

I nodded, happy to help, then leaned my head on his shoulder as he started reading. I only heard the first three or four sentences before I was asleep again, which Joon realized because my hand dropped from his chest to my side, causing him to check my face and see my closed eyes. He chuckled to himself, put the note away, then wiped off my cheeks and kissed them, knowing it wasn’t my fault I kept falling asleep- the meds caused drowsiness, and I was also still super tired from several days of not sleeping well before the hospital visit. He stayed with me the rest of the day, not getting another chance to read his note, but knowing sooner or later he would read it to me- he simply had to.

Joon had to leave when visiting hours ended and while he was gone, the doctor came to talk with me about being released- he was still worried about me not being able to eat, but I promised to try normal foods at my house if he let me go home as planned. The doctor reluctantly agreed, not wanting to see me back in the hospital if I got sicker from malnutrition. The next morning, Yoongi came to bring me home, since Joon was getting everything ready for the three missing members to arrive and was stressed about not being ready for their arrival the following day. I understood and since Yoongi was now my best friend, I didn’t mind at all. We chatted easily and soon I was home, where Yoongi told me how he had taken care of my little doggie and tried to give her lots of love, like I would.

I hugged Yoongi, thanking him for all his help, then said I was super tired, so I wanted to shower and sleep, but Yoongi knew I had promised the doctor I would eat better at home, so he made me some eggs and toast, which I ate after my shower. I then went to lay down on my bed, so Yoongi stayed with me, holding my hand, until I fell asleep, then he left. I slept for several hours, not realizing how exhausted I had been and finally woke up in the afternoon. Joon had been worried about me, but since I wasn’t answering my texts or calls, he just decided to come over to check on me and found me just waking up, still sleepy and unsure about what had happened in my day.

He helped me stand up and wrapped me in a hug, feeling how weak I still was, knowing he needed to help me get strong again. He sent me to the bathroom while he went to feed my little doggie, then he waited for me to dress, and he walked with me back to their house to join them for dinner. I was not happy about this but knew I had to keep my promise to the doctor, so I slowly followed him, barely able to keep up, stopping multiple times to rest. Joon saw me struggling and finally had to piggy-back me across the sidewalk and to their door, then up the stairs because I was too weak to continue. He gently sat me down at the table and gave me water, then brushed a few stray hairs away from my face as I lay down my head on the table to rest.

The other three started making food, so Joon set the table and soon it was time to eat. Yoongi and JK sat next to me, each letting me lean on them whenever I needed to, as they kept adding little bites of food to my plate, encouraging me to eat. I did eat some good food, but was full after a short time, which caused Joon to clench his jaw in concern for my health. I put down my chopsticks and leaned on JK’s tall shoulder as he continued to shove food into his happy mouth, while Yoongi rubbed my leg, seeing how tired I was and understanding. When they were done, JK stood up to help clear the table, not warning me ahead of time, so I fell over and landed on the chair, which was wood, then slipped to the floor before Yoongi caught my head. I looked up at him, not knowing what had happened, as I had been so sleepy a few seconds before and happily resting on JK, who had since crawled under the table to check on me and was now worried he had hurt me.

I told him I was fine, just sleepy, so they both helped me get out from under the table and then JK carried me to the couch, where he gently set me down. I closed my eyes and curled up into a ball when he covered me with the blanket, which caused them all to exclaim how cute I was again, me not hearing it this time, thank goodness. When dinner was cleaned up, Joon went over to check on me and touched my forehead/cheek to make sure I didn’t have a fever, but I felt normal, so he breathed a sigh of relief. He sat near my feet, just watching me sleep, until Yoongi came and sat in the recliner near my head and asked when Joon was going to tell me the truth about how he felt-before or after the other members arrived. Joon was in denial that time was running out, so he didn’t have an answer, but Yoongi worried about me meeting the other members and one of them not understanding how special I was, as their friend and sister, not anything more, except to Joon.

When I didn’t wake up after half an hour, Joon decided I would be more comfortable in an actual bed, so he carefully picked me up and carried me down the hall, then gently set me down on his bed, where I immediately stretched out and sighed, clearly feeling safe and comfortable now. He didn’t want any more mishaps on his watch- he was already struggling with his feelings of attraction and his inability to tell me the truth or just read me his letter. I slept for two hours, then I woke up, looked around, didn’t recognize whose room I was in, sat up, rubbed my tired eyes, then saw someone standing across the room, in the bathroom doorway, frozen, staring at me, not fully dressed. I panicked, immediately turned over and buried my face in the blanket, not wanting to embarrass them, not realizing it was Joon, who had just showered and was wearing his shorts, but was in the process of putting his shirt on when I had woken up, surprising him.

He continued dressing and came over to sit on the edge of the bed, rubbing my back and saying, “Hey sweetheart. How are you feeling now? Did your nap help?” I cautiously looked up at him, worried he would be mad, but he was smiling, so I turned over and answered, “I feel much better actually. Thank you for always checking on me Joon.” He looked at his hand, now on my stomach, but luckily my shirt was pulled down, so he tried not to panic and gently continued rubbing, hoping it was ok. I smiled back at him then asked when the other members would be arriving- he said tomorrow afternoon, which caused me to sit up quickly and start panicking, “What?! How can they be here so quickly? What if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m annoying?” He held both my hands as he calmly replied, “They already know about you, so don’t worry about that- they are all excited to meet you, especially after everything we have told them about you. Please don’t worry and just be yourself.”

I took a deep breath, but still felt my heart racing, which Joon could see, so he helped me stand up and hugged me, holding me tight and whispering things to help me calm down, which helped and within a few minutes I felt much better. I kept my face buried in his neck as I said, “Joon, I don’t know how you always know what I need before I do, but I truly think you can read my mind somehow.” He chuckled, which made his chest rumble, so I giggled and he asked me why, but I was too embarrassed to explain, so I bit my lip and stayed silent. He knew what was happening, but genuinely wanted to know why I had giggled, so he said, “You know, I really do want to know what you are thinking, especially at moments like these where you do something cute like giggle, so can you please try to explain your reaction to me?” I sighed, knowing it was only fair if he got the truth, since I knew he would always return the favor, so I tightened my grip on the back of his shirt, so my face was pressed even more into his neck as I whispered, “I felt your chest rumbling when you laughed and it made me giggle because I like it when you are happy with me.” He could barely hear me but understood enough to know I now had burning cheeks.

He kissed the top of my head, giving me a few seconds to myself, then he gently pushed me back until he could look into my eyes, saw me biting my lip, cheeks on fire, eyes looking down, attempting to hide my embarrassment. He leaned his forehead on mine and whispered, “It seems we have finally reached the point where we need to be honest about how we feel. I can tell you are attracted to me just as much as I am attracted to you, so let me be the first to say I cannot just be friends with you anymore. That won’t be enough.” I was shocked, so I looked up, right into his eyes, saw his sincerity, then replied, “Joon, are you sure? I’m not the best choice for you; you know that right? I’m not…”

What I was (or wasn’t) became irrelevant at that moment, as he leaned in and quickly kissed me, stopping all my ramblings and causing me to forget how to breathe for a few seconds. He pulled back, saw my pale face, then caught me before I hit the floor, knowing I did not want to get another injury to end up back in the hospital. I was just lying in his arms, unable to speak, while he chuckled to himself and said, “Well, I guess we should have planned our first kiss better and been sitting down, so you wouldn’t have to faint.” I focused on blinking and breathing, both of which took all my efforts at that time, considering he was still inches from my face, still extremely handsome, and still looking into my eyes with the smolder he had used before the kiss. It took me several minutes to be able to form words before I could shakily respond with, “Joon, that wasn’t fair to surprise kiss me. How can I fight these feelings now?” He fully laughed this time, knowing he had won the battle and would have a much easier time convincing me to give him a chance now that he knew I was not immune to his affection like he had feared.

I sat up, leaning on the bed, next to him, so I wouldn’t have to stare into his face anymore, which made breathing easier and helped me focus on my speaking ability. “Why did you kiss me when you know we cannot be together? How come you did something so risky?” I asked, still perplexed and unsure of the motive of his actions. He took one of my hands and held it, then replied, “Zoey, I have been attracted to you since the moment we met, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself, so I tried to ignore my feelings, but you kept doing and saying things that made it impossible for me to forget about how you make my heart race and my brain turn to noodles. So, I planned to wait for as long as I could to hide everything from you and the other members, but then, today, when you were standing in front of me, it just seemed like the moment was right and I couldn’t fight it anymore. I am not sorry I kissed you and I am not sorry you know how attracted to you I am.”

I squeezed his hand, but didn’t speak, so he gave me time, which allowed me to process what he had said and come up with an answer that actually made sense. “Joon, how can this even be possible? You are about to go on a world tour for several months, while I will still be here teaching and living my everyday life without you. You have millions of fans screaming for your attention, but instead, you choose to be with me, just a regular girl from down the street. You know I won’t do anything that will negatively affect the band in any way, so if we become a couple, it will have to be a secret. Are you ok with that? Pretending to be available for months on end, while secretly dating me, a simple schoolteacher who isn’t famous and has no special talents?” I had tears in my eyes by the end, which he heard in my voice, and lifted my chin to look into my eyes as he responded, “Actually, I’m more sure now than ever that I want to choose you over anyone else. When we are done touring, what will be left? Nothing- the fans do not come home with us- we have to build our own happiness and find our own home to return to. That is what you are for me- my home and the life I want to return to. I want a future with you, someone who will be honest with me. Someone who will never let me forget who I really am. Someone who will love me for just being myself. That someone is you.”

He saw a few tears slip out, wiped them gently away, and kissed my forehead, whispering, “It’s moments like these that remind me how lucky I am to have found you. Nobody else in the world makes me feel like this. Just being near you is enough to make my heart race.” I blinked up at him, gave a shy smile, then asked, “But what will you tell the other members? I don’t want them to be mad at me.” He assured me that they would all be super happy- they all wanted someone to come home to once touring was done but never found the time or place to actually meet anyone yet who would treat them as normal people.